So what...??

So what, I spent one more day in office and did nothing special compared to a normal day. How does it matter? or does it?? Was I supposed to do something special or for that say, different from other day, today? Yes, I was, thats what record chain of mails in my mail box probably says or the statistical data of a survey reflects - 'Indians are Asia's second-most romantic lot with 68.5 per cent of them showing affection for their partners on this day - Valentines day'?? And, if the too 'numerical' people consider its because of population in India, then please, China is not the no. 1.

Wow, its an achievement, isn't it?? India again on picture. Shouldn't be the same thrilling feeling again, when our country, has demonstrated Asia's fastest supercomputer bypassing China and Japan?

..............Yes, what you are feeling is true, I am too sarcastic and hard. And, I don't find any reason, why I shouldn't be. It doesn't mean that I am unemotional or not romantic or I live with certain dogmatic principles to accept or reject things, but its sort of accumalation of emotions due to unpleasant truths, which always cover my romanticism. I live in an independent country where I have to stay in the room with fear because I may become a victim of certain special 'regional' countrymen. I live in a country where a woman gives birth to a child in a dirty toilet of train due to fear of getting killed for being a north-indian(http://in.news.yahoo.com/indiaabroad/20080214/r_t_ians_nl_general/tnl-train-from-mumbai-our-only-crime-is-b9e311f.html).

How am I supposed to suppress my emotions, rather give a U-turn to my emotions to be romantic just a day after the incidents happened? OK, I try to forget it. Whatever happened was a sort of misfortune or mishappenings. But again, how can I sleep with certaintity that it'll not happen again? How can I consider myself safe and start walking on the most expansive street with my girlfriend to celebrate the romantic evening of this V-day? Or, who'll guarantee this safety?

Ok, I try to become a bit neutral, try to do an analysis and come to the root cause why it happened, so that one can get a solution or atleast get a preventive measure. Forget about the political drama or media irresponsibilty and come to the real and natural public emotion or more specifically outburst. I feel it's not that people suddenly came out on the road and started beating a certain class without any reason(If I am not wrong) on one's call(Man is not a wild animal by instinct). There must be something lying in their mind from a long time that they are not getting enough employment opportunities or resources due to intrusion of other class.

Ok, get inside again, the other class which referred here is Biharis and UP-residents and they are mainly low-wages workers.So, why they've migrated leaving their own family or city? It'll be too blasphemous to say that they less intelligent than the rest of the Indians, then why? It is also being heard quite commanly that they are not honest or not ethically strong. What make them dishonest?? Get more in, start looking at their home, their family, their burdens. They are perhaps the most neglected class in political history of last 40-50 years. They are intelligent but not educated. They are performers but they don't have stage. They want to live but they don't have home. But, still they want to survive for their family, for their children. And, for that if they migrate, they become a criminal, they become a thief, they twitch others job, is it a sin???

I know writing a blog here will not solve any purpose, nor I expect by reading this mail, people will drop celebrating Valentines day. That is not at all my purpose. I also don't intent by writing this to increase the outrage, of a particular community for that sake, against any government or an individual as I feel that any particular policy will not be helpful without awakening the people who forgot to live. My sole purpose to write this mail is that I know the people who read it, if read, will be in a position of being privileged ones than them, and if they wish they can change a few lives, they can lessen few crimes, they can avoid a few misfortunes which is going to happen in near future due to regionalism or whatever, by distributing their knowledge, helping the unpriviledged ones and awakening the mass to stand at their feet with self-respect.

The country cannot be called progressive if the number of cars of few bureaucrats increases, it'll called progressive if a comman man of India start walking on road with self-dignity and self-pride without any fear.

Finally, I conclude with few lines of famous poet and shayar Sahir Ludhiyanvi -

Zindagi sirf mohabbat hi nahi kuchh aur bhi hai,
Zulf-o-rukhsar ki jannat hi nahi kuchh aur bhi hai,
Bhookh aur pyaas se bhari is duniya mein,
Ishq hi ek haqiqat nahi kuch aur bhi hai??

I feel this mail will not go to the "So what.........?" list of intellectuals.

Implicitly Recommended Procedure

It was my interview for a well-known MNC, in which I've qualified in technical round and I was sitting in front of a beautiful HR, when this question was thrown at me-"If u'll be a given a much better than this comapny is offering and also a better job profile than this, will u leave our company for that?"----Well, isn't it a stupid question to ask..What she wants to hear, the truth that she already knows, which is also applicable to her or the answer she feels comfortable to hear, doesn't matter if it is 100% untruth.I replied instantly-"No, Never, this is the dream job for me" and I got selected.I know I was a liar and I felt no guilt abt it because the selectors were also knowing it well..........but the worst scene came when a person better than me in all technical and aptitude got screened because he has told the truth, which was quite unpleasent for the HR...............and here it goes!!!!!!!!

I had to make a Passport for me and for verification I've been called at police station.There also I've been enquired so many stupid questions, U don't bring extra photo?Your address proof is not satisfactory?It'll take time to get passport b'coz it requires more verifiaction? etc etc, till I took out a 100 Rs. note 4m my packet and handed to him.I got my passport ready within 15 days.

I had to take my certificate out 4m my last institution, which is reqd to join a co. and hence I wanted the process to be quick.I faced the same pbm there and I applied the same procedure- I got certificates in my hand within few hours, which in normal case takes many days.Well in all above cases my intution have worked for me, which my brain has learnt from experiences and now its like a theory of "Implicitly Recommended Procedure".

According to definition of character, I must be defined as a corrupt person since I abetted corruption, I am a liar.I admit and I'll not seek for any kind of euphemistic word which'll prove me less corrupt or so, since I've seen the persons who have not compromised from there principles due to any preference.The world name them "Fools" and persons like me "Smart".

This blog is dedicated to those "fools", who lived their life with principles and gave a new definition to success or satisfaction.Well,some persons(even me) may debate that what I did was the practical approach and this is the system we are living in but the question is "Upto how much time this so called "Implicitly Recommended Procedure" system will sustain?".Will not someday the co. will feel that that they have selected a wrong person due to their willingness of listenting to an pleasent untruth or the dishonest persons will realize that by doing corruption actually thay are giving birth to new system which closely harms their family members at first.Certainly this system is unstable and will eventually collapse some day, when the people will get bored by speaking and listening falsehood, people will realize that the system they hv made is not actually supportive for anybody.

We may or may not see that day but when it becomes will we be able to appreciate the activities of those fools?Will we accept them as a real successful person?I am afraid not, we'll forget them as we forgot our freedom fighters.But, they are the few persons who live and die for principles, for whom success, name, fame, money---are non-understable words and to be frankly speaking those few persons are only maintaining the balance of entire Universe otherwise it would have toppled much before.

Follow Your Dreams

Well, this is my first blog in new year.I thought I'll start it from my birthday following 'chief'.But, I couldn't do that because that day I realized how rapidly I am loosing my importance to others?So, although I claim that I share all my good-bad feelings in this open diary , that day I couldn't dare to do that.But, anywaz that was the past, I've got many new things added in my life since that day and I wanna share few of them.

17 Jan 2007 can be said to be a milestone in my life because that day I got my first job in a very good company.However, the way that I got this was quite funny because it included all the stupid things that I usually do ranging from giving some stupid answers in technical interview and to counter-balance this mistake, sharing my personal matters (including my poems) with the HR person.That day, I was very happy.I called almost everybody until my balance turned to zero.

I started spending most of my time by next day on orkut and meebo, so that I can inform rest about this achievement (I personally feel this can never be said as achievement).However, I want to mention here that I had one more option left to sit for interview in a second job called DREAM option.But, I didn't think much about this dream after getting first job.

After 5 days of my placement, I was still busy in orkutting.After each min, I was refreshing my scrapbook to see new scraps and once I did it I suddenly saw a flood of same messages from a friend like this-

"don't laugh at this! Just do it!
My best friend just did this, this morning, wished for her promotion
and just got a call and she got it.

Start thinking something you really really want, cause this is
astounding. the person that sent this to me said their wish came true
10 mins after they read the mail so I thought what the heck.



******
######
******
######
************
(,)(,)

*....*

You have just been visited by Dr.Suess's Cat in the Hat. He will grant
you
one wish.
Make your wish when the count down is over.

10..
9..
8..
7..
6..
5..
4..
3 ..
2..
1..
MAKE A WISH
Send this to 10 people within the hour you read this.
If you do, your wish will come true! . If you don't it will become the
opposite "

I often get these kind of messages on my mobile also but being a researcher , I never believe these kind of superstitions.But, to reply him I just took an euphemistic approach-"Dear, as I already got job and I am quite satisfied now.So, right now I don't have any wish or dream.But, anywaz thanks for your message."

But, as soon as I sent this message I got one mail from placement centre, which contained name of shortlisted candidates for CRL interview.I saw it didn't contain my name, then suddenly I realized I had a dream.From the day I got my first job, my heart was punching me again and again to get CRL.It was really very upsetting for me to not to be shortlisted even for first interview.Was it the consequence of ignoring the message I got just now?Will I have to believe on superstitions?

I mailed again to the concerned person of CRL mentioning my achievements and knowledge, but invain.They told that somehow I didn't fit into their requirement.

Then I talked to him on phone to persuade him but still they were not convinced to allow me for interview.I was very-2 upset, because all my achievements were not working for me.But, my heart was not willling to accept that I am not fit for that.May be HE has already accepted CRL as a dream.From that day I never turned textbooks to prepare for CRL interview but I don't know why my heart was still positive.

26th was the date, when CRL was coming to recruit students but the night before I woke up almost whole night because I have to prepare for the Sadbhavana Daud(republic day run) on republic day organised by Hindi Samiti (As I am the president of this student's group).On 26th early morning, I successfully organised Sadbhavana Daud for students, then I participated in Flag Hoisting ceremony and then just to respect feelings of my heart I moved towards placement center to attend pre-placement talk of CRL.During PPT, I realized if want to persue a job, I can't get a better place than this.Because, the job was quite challenging and it was made with a vision by a visionary person.But, what to do.......I can only blame to my fate?

I asked few questions in PPT and after that I requested again the team to allow me for the interview.Due to my request again and again, they finally told if the time permits after taking interview of shortlisted candidates they may permit me.However, they advised I should not be very much positive.After lunch still the first interview of shortlisted candidates was going on.I was loosing my hope as the time was proceeding but my heart was still positive.As, I didn't sleep the night before I slept on the furniture in the placement centre thereself.

Around 3:50 p.m., somebody woke me up and told me that I'll be given 5 mins to present myself in front of interview board.It was a great risk, beacuse once I appear in interview, it means I'll loose my dream option i.e. I can't sit in any more company.But, that time I've to listen to my heart, I just washed my face and came to appear in the interview.However, i was so unprepared that I didn't have my interview file with me at that moment.Fortunately, I got my one page resume in my bag and I just went with that.In interview, it was amazing I answered each and every question they asked.They were so convinced they shortlisted me for second interview.

Now, I started believing on my heart.I just ran to my room and collected all reports and file to show in the final interview.In second interview also, I did well.Then they asked how much sallary I expect from them.I just replied I am not here for the sallary, I am here because I dreamt that I'll work for it and finally the surprising moment came when I got selected for CRL.

I feel I am quite excited that I'll do something innovative.I don't know how much actually it will be true in future but I learnt to follow my dream.It also made my belief firm on not accepting any thing on superstitious ground.

Sometimes People surprise and ask how a student from chemical and aerospace background got selected in a company which works in 'High Performance Computing'?I simply smile and say to myself -"It's not me but my dream which carried me there............"

awgp_presentation....

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Code Name God

"Code Name God"-I first came across this title, when I was preparing a list of books for our 'Ranade Library'(Well I am the convernor of that library) 2-3 months ago.Its a novel(possibly) written by Mani Bhaumik and to be honest I have not read any bit of it, not even the prologue.So, I don't know what actually it deals about.

But, some days back, I felt that this title has got some sense in my unconventional thinking.(I pardon if it does not show any resemblance with the theme of actual novel or may be its contradictory). This may be beacuse that time I was actually busy in writing a new (CFD)code for solving 'Navier-Stokes Equation'.That project has been assigned to me with one friend, but was really a herculean task to make it possible in a span of three effective months with four more courses going parallely.In addition to that, the more frustrating thing was none of us has the idea of writing code in 'Fortran' and we'll have to start from the zero.

Anywaz, we started it by taking help with some of our seniors.I came close to my friend while working with him and I found him a very funny, simple and straight forward guy.While working with him, I noticed a very interesting thing in him.He always has a picture of Lord Krishna on his desktop and after each time he booted his computer, he actually prayed first and then he started anything.Here I would like to mention one thing, that actually he has written the major part of the code and I was helping him in debugging that.

Somehow he has written the code and now the main task was to debug that.Each time we saw the code, we observed some error, we fixed that and run the fresh code for the given test code.But, before giving each run, he has closed his eyes, like praying to God and then pressed 'enter' to actually run it.But it was still showing some error.

We(mostly he alone) were spending around 5-6 hours daily at night to debug the code and before giving each run, he was repeating the same hoping that may this time the code will work properly but all invain.Sometimes it blowed up and sometimes it gave spurious results.We were applied all our limited knowledge and resoureces to make that possible, but we were not sure where the error was?I also don't know, why Krishna was not helping us especially him.

I finally got frustrated and gave up, but he was still fightting with the bugs and after a long fight of around two months, he gave me the news that our code is working well.It was a fantastic news and I knew it was next to impossible to crack that if he had not been with me.He told that he was able to crack it only because he had the support of Lord Krishna and so he wanted to go temple next day to thank Krishna.

I was a-bit surprised that How Krishna actually helped him in 'particularly' running the code, but anywaz I went with him to the temple.I also thanked Krishna for his kind support.After coming back from there he was doubly charged and he was so confident that he told that now he is now going to add some advanced techniques also into this code and believe me he actually did it.

Two days before, when we were preparing for viva, I was actually looking again at the code.He has almost written all the physics involved in that code in comment so that we can recall it later easily..But one place, at the most important subroutine, he has just commented 'Think and Thank'.When I asked him about it, he explained me the logic and told he write it because he has written code in a naive way so in future whenever he'll see it he will understand the physics and at the meantime he will also not forget to thank God.So, finally we apppeared in viva, we made presentations, we did well.Our teacher was also happy with us.

After all these over, I just sat and started thinking about me, Where I lost?Why I gave up? or more explicitly after a long series of frustrating failure why didn't he got frustrated and give up? Was really God helping him in making the Code?It sounds like a strange combination of science and spirituality but I think its true and the proof is our code is working well.

May be its not a very good example or I also don't claim that those who don't believe in God can't write these type of codes, they may be much more efficient than us but I feel the goal looks nearer or the path becomes easier inspite of various hurdles, if something is there which regularly gives us confidence, a push-back, a hope for sure that one day we are going to achieve our goal. Is there any problem if one gets this confidence to move ahead by Krishna or Rama or Allah or Isha?

I think I have discovered the God.God is nothing but a confidence, a feeling which always push you ahead, not to give up under any circumstances, not to be impatient, not to loose your temper because God says:

"You have a right to perform your prescribed action,but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action.
you should never be motivated by the results of the actions, nor should there be any attachment in not doing your prescribed activities"

("Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,
Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey Sangostva Akarmani")

Love Vs Life

"........I am so sad that I don't have 'Kelly'
........But I am so grateful that she was with me on that (lonely) island.
........And I know what I have to do now.
........I gotta keep breathing.
........Because tomorrow the sun will rise.
........(And) who knows what the tide could bring?"

These are some dialogues from Tom Hanks movie -'Cast Away' that I watched yesterday.I found it very interesting as it deals about story of a FedEx employee who has been trapped alone in a lonely island near pacific ocean after a plane crash.He has no hope that he 'll be rescued.But, he struggled to live and the only thing that kept alived his interest in living life was the photo of his girlfriend(Kelly) whom he loved too much.
Finally somehow for 4 years, a tide brings him something that he can think of getting his world again.He struggles hard and somehow comes back to his world again but then he finds that his girlfriend has been married to someone else..............

I am forced to write this article because everybody fall in love at time, of them some gets trapped in ignorant world for sometime, of them some manages to fight back, resist against all the odds, wait for tides to come and get rescued because they have a hope called love but how many of them can resist their emotions if they find that they have lost their reason for hope, how many of them wait till next tide to come?
Recently, I went through a very unfortunate event that a student from IIT,Kanpur committed suicide (http://indianexpress.com/story/16149.html) and when I tried to peep inside I found the story was resembling somewhat like this.
I sometimes think that 'Is this love the necessary and sufficient reason to live a life ?' Is it that much important that without that a parent loses his son, a sibling loses his/her brother and last but not the least, a nation loses a talented citizen.

I am very sorry if this discussion is hurting someone's emotion but I want this discussion to be continued because it hurts me like anything when I find someone ends his life because he couldn't find a way how to suppress this emotion.From my childhood to being a so-called somewaht matured person I have seen thousands of such cases, in my village, in my hometown, in my school, in my college.
Love is the consequence of Life and Life is not a consequence of Love, than why 'Ending life becomes a consequence of End love'?

I am not a preacher or philosopher,but I am writing all these because sometimes I also have experienced such type of emotions but then I remembered one definition of life we often used to laugh during our easy moments( special thanks to Rupesh sir for his innovative mind)- "Life is like a running Trekker(a cab like Gypsy) over a road, you'll have to be fast to catch that but sometimes you find that you are so sluggish or the trekker is so fast that you can't catch that then just start walking along the road, may be you can invent life inside you some day"

The Modernisation of Lanterns

I live in a place called Bangalore(now bengaluru), the name is important beacuse it has added one word in english dictionary 'Bangalored'(ref. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bangalored).This is a place where I can enjoy nice climate, no light cut, 24 hours water in your tap and in one line the whole worldly facilities at your door-step.So, when I go back to my village, people look as if I am from different planet.

On saturday, we have a birthday party and we decided to have it on a DHABA called 'Angeethi'
(http://www.indianfoodforever.com/eating-out/restaurants/bangalore/angeethi-restaurant-bangalore.html)
on M.G.Road.Most probably, we wanted to have some place where we can remember our past.

I was quite surprised by looking the scene at the Dhaba.All the walls have been nicely polished so that it was looking like earthen wall, electric pipe wirings outside the wall were there, one well was at the centre with GHIRNI, there was a cot(khatiya) made of rope ( Kalkatiya Sutri ) along with a pillow, a betel(Pan Dukan) shop at one corner in a gumti, Posters of famous amitabh bachchan movies(like Deewar,Sholay etc) surrounding the place, one 'thanda matlab coca-cola' advertisement on one side of wall,,waiters were wearing kurta-pyagama and ofcourse there was no A.C. It was open to surroundings as it was on the top floor, and the hotel persons have tried their best to give a 'rustic' look.

So, as I saw it at a glance, I felt that I came in a different world(far away from the city in some boorish place) but I observed it instantly that these all things are un-natural and were made intensionally, means there was no water in well, no electrical wire inside the pipe wirings, no earthen wall.

But still,the most beautiful thing I liked that there were Lanterns put at different places for light.It was exactly as the kerosene lantern still used at small towns.The only difference was in place of wick there was a filament, in place of gas flame, there was bulb lighting and in place of capillary effect there might be some Edison effect was working.

These all efforts were made to cover the urban look by a rustic look, but the question is why? what's of doing all these non-sense in a high-tech city, where persons are habituated to live a differnet life style.May be it has been done so to keep the price comparively low, I thought.But, as soon as I have seen the menu, my this doubt has also been cleared.The price was so high that It can compete any of the costiest restaurants in India but still the crowd was so high (all are from high profile family) so that one can't get place easily unless it has been booked in advance(We were quite fortunate in that sense as we reached far before the normal dinner time).

I saw the menu - Paneer-butter Masala- 145/-, Roti- 50/- per piece avg, Betel(sweet)- 20/- per piece, cold drinks- 45/-( I don't know the prices of non-veg. stuff as I am vegetarian).So, with ten persons we managed somehow under 3000/- (without any starter like soup and icecreams or sweets), I bet, the bill for same kind of food in same amount in same kind of environment will not go beyond 300/- in so called sub-urban or undeveloped places.(But, if the same thing will be served with that much price, will the person go or even the high-profile persons will enter?)

So,Is the 'rustic look' main reason of attraction for an urbanite?If this is true, doesn't look it absurd. I am trying the brain of a urbanite. Do the so called cosmopolite people ever want go back to place they have abandoned forever?Do they also feel to sleep sometimes on these so uncomfortable Cots(Khatiya)?Do they ever want be enjoy the light of Lantern?May be sometimes they miss it badly and then want to buy something that can propitiate their emotions, doesn't matter if it is artificial,emotions can also be fooled.

For me, answers of these questions are quite straight.Sometimes I get quite bored with this 'No Light Cut' and I wish if the light goes off at night while I am studying with my Papa and my Mama shouts from kitchen -'hey raju, light the lantern immediately.Oh, you have not filled kerosene in lantern na, you have not cleaned the chimey also.You know light is quite uncertain here, Why not you do it all in evening itself.'' And then I run to Lantern before Papa add something to it but I find Lanterns have been modernised now. I have got switches to play with light and so with with my emotions.....................

The girl, The chat & The sleep

[before reading it, its a humble request to please go through 'Prologue']
Its 6 o'clock morning,I am on bed and trying hard to get asleep from last 2 hours, but I don't know why I am not getting sleep today.May be due to the chat with a 15 year old Brazilian girl.I don't know, I thought I'll not talk to her as it takes too much of time, but still.........?I want to recall the chat again and again that I did today, was there something so important in that chat that it takes my sleep away.

[07:35] lala: hi
[07:37] lala: .............
[07:47] lala: bleh
[07:48] lala: bleh
[07:48] lala: bleh
[07:48] lala: blah
[07:48] lala: bleh
[07:48] lala: blah
[07:48] lala: blah
[08:26] rajesh: hi
[08:27] lala: hello!!!
[08:27] rajesh: so, wats going on
[08:27] lala: very fine
///[08:27] rajesh: And, sorry for that day, I was a bit arrogant
//[08:28] rajesh: any waz, its night there na
//[08:28] lala: ok
//[08:28] lala: i forgif u
//[08:28] rajesh: thanx
//[08:29] lala: kk
//[08:29] rajesh: means
//[08:29] lala: i'm smiling
//[08:30] rajesh: so, I made the compensation
//[08:30] rajesh: That day i made u cry
//[08:30] lala: no
//[08:30] lala: i was joking
//[08:30] lala: 'cause i really send to u
//[08:30] lala: but u don't received
//[08:31] lala: i don't kwow the why
//[08:31] lala: this made me sad
//[08:31] rajesh: forget about that, i don't want your photo anymore
//[08:31] lala: 'cause u wasn't believe me
//[08:31] rajesh: sorry again
//[08:31] lala: but in my orkut has///
[08:32] rajesh: actually I am not checking my orkut for next 30 days
[08:32] lala: why/
[08:32] rajesh: just like that............
[08:33] rajesh: actually I made a resolution, I just want to be determined on that
[08:33] rajesh: noy any specific reason
[08:33] lala: oh ok
[08:34] rajesh: I am just weighing my determination
[08:34] lala: ok
[08:34] rajesh: U can read it in my profile in orkut also
[08:35] lala: but u're busy in this days/
[08:35] rajesh: ya, there is much load of project work now a days
[08:36] lala: r u tired
[08:36] rajesh: you are also studying na, how is student life there
[08:36] lala: ..........
[08:36] lala: for me isn't so busy
[08:36] rajesh: I hate being tired....................:)
[08:36] lala: 'cause i'm smart
[08:36] lala: yeah,i understand
[08:36] rajesh: you mean to say I am not smart
[08:37] lala: nono
[08:37] rajesh: OK, I accept
[08:37] lala: u r,u look like very smart
[08:37] lala: 'cause if u r busy
[08:37] lala: there are any gift for this
[08:38] rajesh: thanx
[08:38] lala: if u fight,u win
[08:38] lala: believe this
[08:38] rajesh: hey, while talkin to me, don't be serious
[08:39] lala: ok
[08:39] lala: ]
[08:39] rajesh: Actually, I am intensionally coining some situations to fight
[08:39] rajesh: After all, friends are meant to fight;)
[08:40] lala: u've to go out with yours friends
[08:40] rajesh: not today, tomorrow we have a grand party
[08:40] lala: uau
[08:41] rajesh: someone's b'day party.............
[08:41] lala: uau
[08:41] lala: finally
[08:41] rajesh: there u celebrate birthday's or not
[08:41] lala: me/
[08:41] lala: no/
[08:41] lala: was last month
[08:42] rajesh: what date......?
[08:42] lala: 16
[08:42] rajesh: Anywaz, happy BElated B'day
[08:43] lala: ok
[08:43] lala: thanks!!!
[08:43] lala: i am 15 years old!
[08:43] lala: uhu
[08:44] rajesh: Oooooooooooo great
[08:44] lala: i'm a tenn
[08:45] rajesh: but I am young--------------21..:D
[08:45] lala: :|
[08:46] rajesh: don't worry.........;)
[08:46] lala: i'm joking
[08:46] lala: u're very yuong yet
[08:47] rajesh: ya.......I am in intermediate phase
[08:47] lala: u're a grow tenn
[08:47] rajesh: I am just leaning , howww to become young?
[08:47] lala: ahah
[08:47] lala: be young is to live with happyness
[08:48] rajesh: thank you..............
[08:48] rajesh: and be teen to be even not aware of what is called worriness or sad
[08:49] lala: but it's the fase
[08:49] rajesh: In which standard you are
[08:50] lala: i don't care for what people think
[08:50] rajesh: means what?
[08:50] lala: i'm care for what i think right
[08:51] lala: and the right is what gos says
[08:51] lala: goD
[08:51] rajesh: that should be the approach
[08:51] lala: after/
[08:53] rajesh: It seems you are very mature
[08:53] lala: i've lost my parents
[08:54] lala: tht's why
[08:54] rajesh: I am very sorry, if I hurted you
[08:54] lala: no
[08:55] lala: ]
[08:55] lala: nothing
[08:55] lala: isn't your fault
[08:55] lala: ok
[08:55] lala: do u've sisters/
[08:55] rajesh: ya
[08:55] rajesh: we are two brothers and one sister
[08:56] lala: cool!
[08:56] lala: i don't have
[08:56] lala: but i have many cousins
[08:56] rajesh: Ok, then you can enjoy with them
[08:56] lala: aham
[08:57] rajesh: so, u are living with your uncle
[08:57] lala: yes
[09:02] rajesh: You read that mail in which I have sent conversations with God
[09:02] lala: aham
[09:02] rajesh: :>
[09:02] lala: i loved!
[09:02] rajesh: thanx
[09:02] lala: the bunner too
[09:02] rajesh: I will continue msging youif you like
[09:03] lala: i would love
[09:03] lala: ]
[09:07] rajesh: How you lost your parents, SORRY IF I AM GETTING PERSONAL
[09:08] lala: no
[09:08] lala: cancer
[09:08] lala: both
[09:09] rajesh: cANCER DUE TO ANY SPECIFIC REASON
[09:10] lala: i don't kwow speak in englhish
[09:10] lala: diferent in the both cases
[09:10] lala: my father was 'cause the cigarrete
[09:11] rajesh: yoy don't smoke na
[09:12] lala: me/
[09:12] rajesh: ya, because I came to no in west, Girls are also smoking
[09:13] lala: no
[09:13] rajesh: Thank GOG
[09:13] rajesh: GOD
[09:13] lala: yes
[09:13] lala: i don't wanna day
[09:14] rajesh: why?
[09:14] lala: die
[09:14] lala: i din't wanna die 'cause the cigarrete
[09:15] rajesh: Well u are not going to die by any such raeson
[09:15] rajesh: God can't be so cruel
[09:15] lala: YTHANKS
[09:16] lala: i've to go
[09:16] lala: i've to study now
[09:16] rajesh: Ok then
[09:16] rajesh: Good Night
[09:16] rajesh: Sweet Dreams
[09:16] lala: for u too
[09:16] lala: god blles u
[09:16] rajesh: U didn't tell me in which class u read
[09:17] lala: if i tell u in portuguse,u can translate/
[09:17] rajesh: ya
[09:17] lala: oitava série
[09:18] rajesh: in english , its class 'eight'

I feel something is there that touches my emotion or may I am the only person like that.From intermediate and above, i have seen so many of my friends who started smoking because its a fashion today.
I still remember that episode of 'school -days' a series on DD1 on sunday 12:00 clock on that days, which was based on student life. In that when a student asked to his friened who was smoking at that time, the reason for smoking, the friend replied-'CIGRATTE PIYUNGA TO LAGUNGA MAIN FINE AUR CLASS KI SABHI LADKIYAN DENGI MUJHE LINE'.(If I smoke, I will look smart and then,girls of my class will flirt with me)
From that time onwards I experienced it true at many occasions and sometimes i was thinking of should I start smoking due to that minor or major reason(that I have not started yet), but then I think can I forgive myself ever if I can produce one more 'lala'(the brazilian girl with I was chatting).
'lala', who is looking outside for emotional support and love, which she has supposed to get from her parents.
Is the previous reason suffient enough to start smoking or this reason is sufficient enough for someone to quit smoking?????????
May be one night is not sufficient to take a decision about two lifes..
Friendship