My Experiments with Truth

The Republic Day Dream

2012-01-25T12:38:00.000-08:00

It's 5 past midnight. I am lying at my bed, but am not able to sleep. I can hear the sound of crackers all around, people wishing each other, cavalcades on every road with Indian flags........what is this all about? People say this is 5th anniversary of India becoming republic, they're proud that we've our own constitution now after a great effort. They say we'll teach the world how the largest democracy works even in a country known for diversity. They say all this, and they've some pride in saying that, which I don't understand, perhaps because I am just a little kid.

They use the terms like justice, equality, liberty, integrity, sovereignty, rights.........etc. etc. which my little brain isn't able to comprehend. Sometimes there are also discussions of secularism, socialism.........but none of them gets compiled to my mind. All I know is that tomorrow is a prabhat pheri (morning march), then flag hosting, after that school parade and then I've to sing "Sare jahan se achcha........". And there will be loads of games tomorrow - musical chair, math race, jalebi race, goli-chammach, three-leg race, frog jumping........etc.etc. It'll be so much fun and I am going to participate in everyone.

I keep murmuring the song Sare jahan se achcha..... every now and then. I remember it fully, I've practiced enough, but in front of these many people? I am really afraid, but ok my parents will be there, I can do it. Then suddenly my mind goes to musical chair........this time I can't loose. I've to be little smart. I'll spend more time near chair and walk fast between the chairs, so that as soon as music stops I can get a seat. What about goli chammach? Well I am good at it, I just have to hold to spoon well, and make sure I never look down......that's all. I keep on thinking about different events happening tomorrow, and I don't know when I went to sleep.

I hear my mamma calling: "Wake up. It's already 5:00 AM. Your all friends are ready and in queue for the prabhat pheri." I immediately throw my quilt away and get up. I hear my friends shouting slogans in front of my door : "Inquilab - Zindabad", "Mahatma Gandhi - Zindabad", "Sardar Bhagat Singh - Amar Rahe", "Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Isaai; Sab aapas me bhai-bhai",. I can't wait any longer, I brush my teeth fast and run to join the march. I start shouting the slogans as loud as I can. We cover three streets across my lane and come back.

"Mamma, get me ready. I am getting late for flag hosting." - I tell my Mamma. I am wearing new shoes today, I am so happy. The school dress is black and white, and then there is a maroon necktie. As soon as Mamma finishes tying my shoe-laces, I run. Mamma shouts - "Wait......at least eat something before you go. You've not even drunk water. It'll be late".

"It's fine Ma! I'll eat jalebi at school only" - I shout back and run away.

I am at school, I participate in flag hosting. I salute the national flag and start singing national anthem. My eyes automatically get closed. Hosting is over, they're distributing jalebis to everyone, and I am sitting at corner practicing for my patriotic song. I miss my favorite sweet too. Suddenly I hear principal's voice: "Everyone get ready for the parade. It'll start in five minutes". I run and join the front queue. I see my parents sitting in the audience.

It's so sunny today and I didn't have water since morning, my throats are getting dry but I am so happy. The parade teacher starts: "Attention!!" I take my right leg off the ground and I fell down. My eyes are closed, I am surrounded by many people. They're sprinkling water on my face. My mamma is constantly crying. I hear a voice: "Rajesh, wake up. You've not even understood the meaning of 'republic'" and I suddenly open my eyes. "Oh No!! It's 8:15. What a weird dream today! I've to get dressed and run for flag hosting."

Mockery of Public Emotions

2011-06-10T11:12:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I am neither a fan of Baba Ramdev, nor Congress is in my hate-list. Of course I feel pain when I hear news about rampant corruption and black-money swayed away from India which could be very well used to make India prosper. But this blog is not about any of these issues, its' about what I noticed following a prominent news channel in India, which many of the people follow..........the question to ask is – Did media play it’s role responsibly? Did it really care about people's sentiment or tried to divert it, dilute it?

Here are last few news articles published on CNN-IBN and its page on facebook since Baba Ramdev went on fast on black money issue - you can check it yourself on https://www.facebook.com/cnnibn

Has Ramdev's fast been reduced to a tamasha?

IBNLive : Varuni Bhatia's Blog : Essay: Ramdev's agenda is political, not civil

Ramdev taken to hospital, forced to end fast

Is Ramdev actually a marketing guru?

Is Ramdev losing credibility?

Ramdev and Balkrishna refuse to comment on the number of companies that his different trusts own

Only Baba Ramdev and Acharya Balakrishna are on a hunger strike, all other supporters have been fed.

Do you think Ramdev is a rich man?

Can Anna Hazare and Ramdev's methods really deliver?

The gloves are off, the conflict is escalating. Who will win? -

Do you think Anna and Ramdev are true to the cause?

Tathagata Bhattacharya's Blog : Fast: What Anna, Baba didn't learn from Gandhi

Here's an account of the mood and colour at Raj Ghat today

Can satyagraha politics really change India?

Are civil society leaders making a mockery of Gandhian ways of Satyagraha and fasting as tools for protest?

Watch live: all the action from Raj Ghat as Anna Hazare fasts to protest the police crackdown on Ramdev http://ibnlive.in.com/livetv/

Will this fast produce results or be purely symbolic? - Anna begins fast against Ramdev swoop

Another day of fasting. Is the media overplaying the anti-corruption protest?

How are you showing your support for this fast?

Investigation or vendetta? Baba Ramdev's Rs 1100 cr empire under scanner

Was Sushama Swaraj's dance at the BJP's 'satyagraha' appropriate?

Ramdev's missing aide surfaces, where was he for 3 days?

Watch video of Ramdev's jump from the dais into a crowd of supporters as police swooped down on his camp at Ramlila Maidan.

Ramdev empire under probe

Supporters compare Ramdev's removal to Jallianwala Bagh, is it right to compare the two incidents? Discuss here.

Wee Cumbrae: Ramdev's $3.3 million yoga island http://ibnlive.in.com/photogallery/4105.html

Is the Ramdev controversy a product of political and media elitism?

Ramdev's daring escape bid wearing salwaar-kurta, dupatta http://ibnlive.in.com/photogallery/4100.html

How many of news at top you found really supporting the real cause of protest or even tried giving people hope that their protest will ultimately convert to at least something they wish for.

I can all divide the news in 3 - categories:

1. Personal attack on Baba Ramdev (and other civil society members) to mislead the people from the actual cause

2. Attack on the methods they adopt (do we have other choices) and make everybody feel that this is not going to work

3. Important News (not against Baba or movement) that they have to produce sometimes compulsively which they can't deny to publish else people

4. To play with the emotions of people and divert them from actual cause, for example this news - http://ibnlive.in.com/news/irom-sharmilas-silent-resilience-ignored/158339-3.html

Where was CNN-IBN for last 10 years?? Who the hell on earth don't know about negligence of govt. about north-east? Is IBN trying to justify that the cause Anna and Baba are fighting for is NOT that big? I do support the cause Irom Sharmila fighting for, or Syrian-American Blogger Amina Abdallah fighting for, or thousands of reasons worth fighting for, but not at cost of leaving one cause and joining to other.

Wasn't the entire purpose of the news coverages was to show that the people of India who support are anti-corruption movement are fools and idiots, as they're not going to acheive any thing?

As a citizen of India, do I look like I care for if Baba or Anna's movement is political or social, Baba Ramdev or Civil society members are people of bad character or thug or cheat or whatsoever, it's being backed by RSS or BJP or NGOs or whomsoever, its being supported by Babas, Spiritual people, Athiests, Aam Aadmi, Corporate people or liquor barrons.........., why should I go on analyzing the personal life of each and every person behind the movement if their actions are supporting the cause??

As Mahatma Gandhi(whom these people boast for) said - "Never judge a person, judge his actions?", so what is this hue-and-cry for? Why to mislead people, why to deviate them from the cause, why to play with their emotions? Even if they're agents of some party ( http://www.hindustantimes.com/Channel-tunnel-vision/Article1-331823.aspx, http://hindustan.net/forums/showthread.php?t=6156, http://www.nowpublic.com/world/cnn-ibn-survey-sponsored-cong ), didn't they have any Indian left at some corner??

To the Lotus Feet of Gurudev

2011-05-30T09:59:00.000-07:00

I don't seek any worldly desire,
or even the spiritual ones
As I learnt
that desires beget ambitions
and hence aspirations and ego
which takes me away from you

I don't wish to be trapped
In cycle of birth or death
But I don't look for the liberation either
As for me
what's the meaning of liberation

if it takes me away from you ?

I don't want to contained
with negative emotions
like guilt and fear

Or jealousy and lust

Or even overwhelmed

with positive emotions

like love and care
Or forgiveness and trust
As I fear these emotions
will bind me to the world
and will take me away from you

A desire,
Not to desire anything;
A detachment with the world,
to attach with you;
An emotion
to annihilate all emotions;
And all the manifestations of me
to seek you and you and you
Tell me O' Dear Father!
Is it a kind of affliction
that has fallen upon on me ?!

Hollywood and Personality Disorders

2011-05-19T07:10:00.000-07:00

I am bedridden for last many days and thought it would be really a good idea to watch Hollywood thrillers to spend this time, and I started with movie with top IMDB ratings and OMG what a poor decision it was. For example, I watched these movies in last 10 days -

Psycho (1960)
Primal Fear (1996)
Fight Club (1999)
Memento (2000)
Identity (2003)
Shutter Island (2010)

Believe me after watching every movie, I thought I watched the same movie again and again. In each one, the climax ends with that the protagonist had multiple personalities (upto 10 personalities to be precise, for example, in Identity). I wonder how people who watch hollywood, really tolerate same thing cooked again and again, and rate these as best movies. Did they loose their sense of novelty or all suffer from multiple personalities, where the side of person who loves these movies always wins over which hates these well-worn craps?

Well I am very careful, while putting the names of movies, because in all these, there are humans which suffer from multiple personalities disorders but I tolerated even those when mutants suffer from this ( X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) -Jean Grey / Phoenix ), animal kingdom suffers (remember Tom in duel personality of Tom & Jerry or), I am not sure if this disease has been spread to hot cakes robots or aliens. If not, I assume this could be the task any Hollywood director will prefer to take on.

But, one thing that helped me after watching these movies, is to understand international politics or atleast US politics. As we know movies are reflections of societies, perhaps I am NOT wrong in understanding that people who watch lot of Hollywood suffer from personality disorders and this becomes clear from the following examples. Example 1, how can you imagine so nice peace-loving Bush would ever attack on Iraq, isn't it the other personality of Bush which dominated over this nice (looking) person and hence that personality later admitted that 'God told me to invade Iraq'. Pakistani's often it puzzled that how come so helping US suddenly changes its face and start bombing and killing Osama, whom they adore - Isn't multiple personality disorder of people responsible of making decisions is an answer to this puzzle.

In contrary, I must be happy to say that not much cases have been Indians don't suffer from this disease (Contrary to west where people probably feel proud having multiple personalities, here in India they're mostly welcomed by abuses like 'dogla'). One of the reasons why this disorder in NOT propagated among Indians, is probably they watch Indian movies. You can actually count on fingers, how many movies really depicts these characters. (Mind it, the rates of (B/T/P/...)ollywood actors are noway less than those of Hollywoods, that they don't mind casting different people different characters. )

Lets take example of some real popular movies, or rather here it could be easy if we just take examples of popular heroes for example Mithun da, Amitabh Ji, Rajnikanth etc. Mithun da - who can be easily named as most evergreen actor, who has acted in more than 450 movies, name one movie in which he suffers from this 'personality disorder' and I will stop watching bollywood.

He is always what he is throughout the movie, whether famous hero Shankar of Gunda or famous villain Bhuvan of Chingari and infact Mithun da is true to his character not only in story but while acting too. Remember when Mithun da has to play positive and negative role together, he didn't for multiple personalities but rather preferred famous father-son feud as double role.

Like Hollywood, this idea of making 'Single Face, Single Personality' in Indian movies is vividly reflected in Indian Societies too, whether it is politics, religion, sports etc. For example, when Manmohan Ji says he didn't have any idea about what is happening in 2G (2 Ji with respect) before it actually happened or Rahul Baba says that he is ashamed of being Indian, I don't feel angry at all but really feel proud how true they are to their heart, and never have multiple personalities.

However, in recent past, we have seen some symptoms of multiple personalities disorders among Indians also, for example with Digvijay Ji (of Osama Ji) and very recently with Karnataka governer H R Bhardwaj. (For these, I blame it to those directors who blindly copy english movies without understanding what could be their effects on naive Indian minds, remember Gajjni (originally 'Memento'), Khamosh...Khauff Ki Raat (Originally 'Identity').

Well, I may go on and on.......but somewhere I have to stop, after all I have got 4 major releases of Bollywood this week, one from Mimoh (Micheal Jackson + Mohammad Ali ) - the dignified son of Mithun da.

Frustrating love-letter to my code

2011-03-15T10:34:00.001-07:00

Dear Code,

It's true that we met like strangers meet in this world, but do you remember in what condition you were when we first met. You were not even able to express properly, no one could make out if you are just making comments or you really mean it. Your legs were crumbled and I gave you proper indentation. And in fact you didn't have spaces, so that you can breath while running, I gave you that.

And then you started demanding - I need a better editor, a good compiler and these many libraries - I gave everything I could and what did you give me in return - 'Millions of NaNs'. That is what you call true love?

You know, when I first looked at you, I got impressed because of your capability to handle so many functions but soon my happiness turned into sadness when I found most of the time I spend just looking at those blankly, rather than actually enjoying their fruits. And tell me one thing don't you feel you are very confused, why so many ifs and elses ? Well probably it's my fault that I forgot the age-old wisdom that it's impossible to understand women and tried to figure you out. Soon I realized, as I kept going, you are far more complicated to be deciphered by my mind. You know I am clueless when I see enormous variables in you, and more specifically you will be in what role in what variable name in what type and in what function.

Lastly, tell me - why the hell you need so many so many classes and structures, can't you just be happy in a simple socialist society without hierarchies?

Partly I blame it to your parents too, who have grown you up without actually giving you proper directions and references. They didn't realize that they won't be forever with you always and someday some one will come into your life, who will have to break his head understanding you.

Well few days back, I met your ex-boyfriend 'debugger', with whom you spent a lot of time. He knows in and out about you, but if you ask me, I found him very irritating. He just gives some hints about something very private in you and starts smiling, and I stare at him with blank face. By the way, I really found it disrespectful for me talking to him to understand you. I spent so much time with you, why should I take anyone's help. Can't you just be little more open with me?

I feel I have slowly became a puppet in hand of you. Doing whatever you want, spending all my days and nights just thinking about you. But still, as they say, true love always wins, I am hopeful. I am sure if I love you truly, I will be able to understand you and compile you someday.

Yours-in-Pointers

An Object

"Peace" !?

2011-03-13T06:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we together witnessed

most devastating form of nature ,

Ruthlessly it extirpated everything

didn't spare any creature.

And it really didn't differentiate -

between my family and your family

your friends or my foes,

Destroyed whatever came in it's way

and left the world with woes.

And to my wonder,

it didn't even care -

for who is a sinner

and who is a good-doer.

And who is really rich

and who is poor.

Who is really old,

and who is relatively young,

or who is healthy,

and who is sick among.

And in this most difficult time

O dear! tell me -

Didn't you really pray,

despite being an atheist,

Or didn't I curse God,

despite being a theist.

At this hour of crisis,

So I came to you -

when humanity is at stake

lets not fight each other

Lets not ridicule or debate.

Lets support each other,

hold one-another's hand

Respect for everyones' emotion

become each-others' friend !!

For that if we still fight,

no matter who wins,

who will there to enjoy

if the entire race ruins?

Because its not a question,

the future will be of what faith,

It's a challenge to humanity,

a contest between survival and death !!

- Rajesh 'Arya'
(Lets Pray for Tsunami victims and support by whatever means we can !!)

Hope........and only hope !!

2011-01-25T10:51:00.000-08:00

26 Jan 2011 - It's republic day tomorrow and what we are celebrating - 50 years of loosing our lands to China and Pakistan, 40 years of prison of Indian Soldiers in pakistani jails, 10 years of slowly loosing our control to Arunchala Pradesh, Nagaland to China, 3 years of series terrorist attacks at different part of countries, or 1 year of Pakistani flag hoisted at Lal Chowk (Kashmir). My heart bleeds and I am sorry if you believe that I am a pessimist.

No I am not, and my earlier post on 15th August speaks volumes about it ( India becoming superpower - http://face-inside.blogspot.com/2010/08/india-becoming-superpower.html ) but I am sad sometimes and I have reasons to be sad now. Some recent developments have kind of made me frustrated. I was just a normal Indian citizen ( aam aadmi as they say ), didn't really understand much of national and international politics but really felt proud of unfurling flags whenever I got chance...felt proud of being called Indian...boasted of Indian Culture, and clapped whenever India won any match and it's recently I feel 4-5 years back when I started learning few things I came to know that I was terribly wrong many times. That sometimes in India also you are now allowed to unfurl Indian Flags, that the India and it's states you feel proud of are sometimes NOT India, that the Indian Culture is slowly vanishing to be replaced by western culture, that winning Indian team doesn't make entire India happy but there are more deeper and bitter truth.

The few things that always hurt me are as follows.

54 POWs in pakistani jail : as it comes into news periodically is about 54 POWs of 1971 war in Pakistani jail. I thought I would write a blog about it but found somebody already got bled writing about it. "...... For nearly three decades, fifty-four families have awaited the return of their sons, husbands, fathers and brothers from the 1971 war. These men were reportedly captured alive by the Pakistan army and have been imprisoned ever since. When the Indian government released more than 92,000 prisoners of war in the aftermath of the Bangladesh war, it did not ensure that all Indian armed forces personnel captured by Pakistani authorities were simultaneously released....." ( http://www.strategypage.com/militaryforums/72-19463.aspx ) and these are people who are being tortured for last 40 years for the pakistan's frustration of 1971 loss and every loss that Pakistan had to India, and Pakistan team to India........but who cares....??

India loosing it's control to it's parts slowly: No it's not only Jammu and Kashmir, now it's Nagaland, Arunachala Pardesh and many more which are slowly slipping from our hands and we are not able to due anything. Last year they openly unfurled Pakistani Flag at laal chowk and Indian govt. couldn't anyting and the irony is that if we want to hoist our flag its a law-and-order issue ( http://www.sandeepweb.com/2011/01/25/lal-chowk-today-lal-qila-tomorrow/ ). China already shows many part of India as their own in their map, and declared it many times in front of Indian delegates and we couldn't do anything. :(

Corruptions and Black Money: Last year has seen most no. of corruptions in recent times. To name a few 2G-Spectrum, CWG, Adarsh Housing Scam, LIC housing scam, IPL scam etc and then there are Radia tapes which revealed the link of politics, media and corporates to implement these. I really wonder what makes Indian politicians to behave so cheap when they are already enjoying all the power and comforts they want. I mean what they are going to do with the money.

Regarding black money, it's being said many times Indians are poor and India is not poor country. India has largest deposit of black money in swiss bank ($1,456 billion - 2 years back data) more than any other country (http://mydiaryalbertashok.blogspot.com/2011/01/indians-are-poor-but-india-is-not-poor.html ). In recent days there were lot of hue and cry over it to get this money back, but nothing fruitful could be done till now. I really feel sad about a son-of-soil (Rajiv Dixit Ji - http://www.rajivdixit.com/) who was committed to do something about it but had to depart untimely (don't understand what His will is ?? )

Lot of things I want to write and talk but why?? What purpose does it serve if I can't do anything about it. (Can I ?? )

Well, I am hopeful that there will be someday when I will not need to write and say all these - the day when India will wake up. With the hope we live and with the hope we die.

Jai Hind !!

Happy Republic Day !!

Bihar and Politics

2010-11-23T23:04:00.001-08:00

Few days back I got a forwarded sms by one of my friends : A baby took birth in a hospital, before opening his eyes he asked nurse - bijli hai kya? (Is there light out there ?) and the nurse replies - no. The boy then gets frustrated and says - Sala, fir se Bihar me paida ho gaya (Holy God !! I took birth in Bihar again ). It hurts and hurts a lot.

And as is the law of the world, in it's worst time people not only ridiculed the development of the state, but the people (Ek Bihari, Sau Bimari), the cultures and festivals of here (remember the famous statement by one of the politicians on the major festival of Bihar - Chhath), questioned the rights of equality, and the state and the people were mocked in every possible way.

It's an irony, Bihar - a pilgrimage of many major religions, he place where first formal university was started (Nalanda) and people from all across world came to get knowledge, the janmbhoomi / karmabhoomi of Aryabhatta and Maharshi Valmiki, Ashtravakra, Raja Janak, King Jarasandh, Mahavira, Buddha, Pāṇini, Aryabhata, Vātsyāyana, Chanakya, Aśvaghoṣa, Ashoka the Great, Samudragupta, Sher Shah Suri, Guru Govind Singh, Mandan Mishra etc. has to see all this. I really wonder that the state which was second in growth rate during inpendence can see such a pathetic situation in just 50 years. The politicians must have really worked hard (and they have, take the example of educational system where they tried every way to keep people illiterate or law and order where all the local gundas controlled social system).

I feel the state, which has such a rich history, has seen the darkest age in recent past (thanks to politicians of those times) as evident from the latest election trends. I remember how people took oath in last elections to bring back pride and peace back in Bihar and they flew from their respective places just to take part in elections. The magic has worked, and you can hear (although still in murmurs) people have started taking this widely ridiculed state bit seriously.

The history is repeating again, and the people responsible for this condition of the state are shown the door badly (http://indiatoday.intoday.in/site/specials/biharelections2010/index.jsp ). I really want to give a free suggestion to all these sucking politicians who play with the emotions of people, from the great poltician Lincoln: “You may fool all the people some of the time, you can even fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all the time.”

I feel Bihar has seen enough and now its time to resurgence. Lets hope for the best.

Bihar - An inspiration for all India.

A state deep-rooted in caste-system came out of barrier and voted for development.

A state relatively illiterate and undeveloped - where more women voted then men.

A state relatively disturbed - where warning of Naxalites can't deter the determination to bring back peace.

Come on 'Chankya' - time has come to protect not only Magadh but entire Aryavarta from Ghananand and Alexander.

Wake up 'Jaiprakash' - this emergency can't stop you. You have the re-script the history and root out dirty dynasty politics. Jai ho!!

Rabbi Shergill- Jinhe naaz hai hind pe

2010-11-16T21:00:00.000-08:00

How you are always with me ??

2010-11-15T08:41:00.003-08:00

When Life was easy,

and I was very busy.

When I got reward,

My best friend's birthday card.

In my good career graph,

or anytime in my laugh

I never found you near me.

But when life is tough,

I am sick with cough.

In fear and pain,
During incessant rain.
In a lonely desert,
or when I get hurt.

Tell me Mamma...
How you are always with me ??

mera kashmir

2010-11-02T22:24:00.000-07:00

India becoming Superpower

2010-08-14T11:34:00.000-07:00

15 Aug 2010, Bangalore. It's 12:00 AM here, I am aware of the fact is It's 63 years since India has first celebrated it's Independence and perhaps that is the reason I am still awake.

Today I was at IISc (India's only institute dedicated for research) attending a lecture on Yoga, when I read this -

"When the Nobel award was announced I saw it as a personal triumph, an achievement for me and my collaborators -- a recognition for a very remarkable discovery, for reaching the goal I had pursued for 7 years। But when I sat in that crowded hall and I saw the sea of western faces surrounding me, and I, the only Indian, in my turban and closed coat, it dawned on me that I was really representing my people and my country। I felt truly humble when I received the Prize from King Gustav; it was a moment of great emotion but I could restrain myself. Then I turned round and saw the British Union Jack under which I had been sitting and it was then that I realised that my poor country, India, did not even have a flag of her own - and it was this that triggered off my complete breakdown." - It was none other than Sir C V Raman in his personal note, when he received nobel prize in 1930 (He also happened to be first Indian director of IISc). For a moment I got shivering after reading this. Today despite of so much development, if somebody recieves Nobel Prize, will he be in a better condition than Sir Raman ?

India, after independence, has progressed and progressed well but was it able to keep par with other countries, specially in education, employment, medicine, science & technology ? - that's a question we need to ponder today. Let's not talk about the problems today - be it corruption, population, climate change etc., not because I have accepted the fact that in current system these can't be eradicated, because somewhere I feel if the approach remains positive and progressive in right direction these things will automatically die away. And also because I have unflinching faith in our seers and sages - be it Shankaracharya, Swami Vivekananda, Sri Aurobindo (Today is also his birthday) or my Gurudev Pandit Shriram Sharma Acharya who conceived "India becoming superpower'.

"Indian becoming superpower" - now it is not something limited to Spiritual community or unheard of in rest of material world. It is being talked in bits-and-pieces, silently and loudly almost everywhere. For Spirituality - the world has always turned to the east and specific to India and I have not an inch of doubt it will be true for ages till Himalaya is there, Ganges is there, Yoga is there, Gayatri mantra is there. Entire world has been benefitted from it without any bias on country, race or religion or paying for patents because it has been originated from here.

I am concerned, and so was Sir C V Raman also and perhaps you will also agree about something for which there are possessions, there are patents, there are biasings. For which world has reasons to see Indians inferior to Americans or Europeans. Yes I am talking about progress in material world or to pe precise scientific progress. It's not because I assume (agreeing with the world) that it should be sufficient reason for being called inferior or superior, rather because are we self-empowered? We have almost lost ancient science but are we progressed sufficiently in modern science. We have lost the pride of becoming inventer of Zero, Decimal System, Velocity of light, Ayurveda, Distance of earth to sun, Pyrotechniques etc. just because we were unable the maintain it. Now India is almost dependent for every single technology - be it aerospace, automobile, medicine, chemistry, or astronomy. India is either a user base or service base but never a technology base. It is perhaps one of the dying need of India as I see.

Well after saying this, as I noticed in the past, India has two ways of getting things done. Either the citizens should awake, realize the problem and start doing their bit, or if it's not happening there will come a storm - name it Shankaracharya, Vivekananda or Gandhi, who alone will shake the world and prove all the stastitics wrong. At last it is God's Will for India to shine.

Shall we wait for that storm to come or start doing our bit? I have chosen my way, may Mother help me contributing to fulfil this will when India will emerge as a Superpower, - be my contribution scientific, spiritual or a union of the two.

"India of the ages is not dead nor has she spoken her last creative word; she lives and has still something to do for herself and the human peoples. " - Sri Aurobindo

Happy Independence Day !!

Those few crazy people -I

2009-08-24T06:47:00.000-07:00

'If you want to serve mankind, go and work among the poorest and most neglected' (Ruskin Bond) - This is one and only final truth and there is no alternative to it. Either you'll have a poor pathetic life in these filthy remote villages without electricity, water, lots of problems, and a great vision of uplifting mankind who actually need it or a nice rich life in a developed metro city, and big dreams of uplifting status.

I am no one to comment if either is great, but it's just a trade-off between comfort of our body or our soul and sadly both are mutually exclusive. The ball is always in our court, and we've to move.

Few out of millions dare to follow the soul, and when they use their hard-earned skills to serve millions instead of earn millions, they're called crazy people, as Sri Aurobindo rightly points out - "Perhaps you know what ordinary men say of an extraordinary view, an extraordinary endeavour, an extraordinary ambition. To them it is madness; only, if the madman is successful in his work then he is called no longer a madman, but a great genius. But how many are successful in their life's endeavour? Among a thousand men, there are five or six who are out of the ordinary and out of the five or six one perhaps successful. Not to speak of success, I have not yet even entirely entered my field of work. There is nothing then for you but to consider me mad."

Here are stories of few such mad people who always remained out of public glare and kept doing things that console their soul than comfort to their body.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr Ravindra Koelhe, MD, lives and runs a clinic in Melghat, Maharashtra. His fee is Rs 2 for the first consultation and Rs 1 for the second.

Not only is he a doctor and social worker, Dr Koelhe has also taken the government to court for having failed in its duty to protect the Korku tribals of the region.After completing his MBBS, he worked in Melghat for a year-and-a-half only to realise that he needed more expertise to handle the problems of the tribals. So he went back to medical college for an MD in preventive and social medicine.

"I have now been here for 24 years. In those days there were two public health centres and no roads. Once a week, I used to walk 40 kms from Dharni to Bairagarh to reach my clinic. I used to see at least one tiger every month. Since the last three years I haven't seen a single one," he says remembering his early days as a young doctor. After completing his MBBS from Nagpur University, he decided to work in rural India. An ardent follower of Mahatma Gandhi and Vinoba Bhave, he was also influenced by Ruskin Bond who wrote, 'If you want to serve mankind, go and work among the poorest and most neglected.'He toured the rural areas of Gujarat, Maharashtra and Madhya Pradesh and decided that Gadricholi in Maharashtra was the most backward amongst his travels and decided to work there. His mother discouraged him since it was a Naxalite affected area. She told him that Melghat was equally backward and that he should work here instead.Dr Koelhe has been in Melghat since then. It has been 24 years now.

Melghat means the place where mountains meet. It lies on the Maharashtra-Madhya Pradesh border and is easily one of the most beautiful places in the country, its greenery only broken by the brightly coloured clothes of the Korku tribals who have made these mountains their home.But the region's beauty is overshadowed by its hostile terrain. Its infrastructure is deplorable. The roads are pathetic, the only way one can access its remote villages is in rugged four-wheel jeep.

Melghat's problems are far too many. There is no power for miles, new power lines are discouraged because this a designated tiger reserve. Though the tiger is rarely spotted here, the so-called presence of the tiger has contributed to the total neglect of this region.

The poor tribals live off the land. They cultivate their small patch of fields on the incline of the mountains. There is no irrigation system and no wells because there is no power to pump the water.In this wilderness, Dr Koelhe has stayed on to alleviate the misery of the tribals.

He feels Melghat is a socio-economic problem, which needs to be dealt with holistically. "We as doctors can look after them when they fall sick, but there are other shortcomings that have to be addressed like education, skill enhancement and assured economic activity through out the year.""When I came here the infant mortality rate was close to 200 per 1,000 babies. Now it is 60. In Kerala it is 8 and in rural India 9. We have to bring it down to the national level. That is why I have filed a public interest litigation in the Mumbai high court."Discussing the case, he says, "We have filed our affidavits. Now the government has to reply. They don't file a reply for months together. Who can do anything? We want to sit down and discuss the problem and solution, but they don't want to sit with us. We cannot force them."

...................................................................................................
"What we need is awareness. There are 400 schemes to look after the tribals from the womb to the grave, but the tribals don't even know what these schemes are. And those who know are not interested in implementing them," says Dr Koelhe resignedly.The tribals have to be provided with safe drinking water and need well stocked ration shops in every village. "The agricultural board is closed. It has to start again. Irrigation facilities to store water are needed and tribals have to be taught the use of fertilizers and pesticides.""The best thing the government has done here is to open more than 300 schools. In those days there were no teachers. The even better thing that the government did was to introduce Korku text books in 1985. Now primary education is in the Korku language. This has gone a long way in making the tribals literate and given them confidence to attend school."

link : http://mobile.rediff.com/news/slide-show/news/20090817/slide-show-1-extraordinary-indians-ravindra-koelhe

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

हो गई है पीर पर्वत-सी पिघलनी चाहिए,
इस हिमालय से कोई गंगा निकलनी चाहिए।

आज यह दीवार, परदों की तरह हिलने लगी,
शर्त लेकिन थी कि ये बुनियाद हिलनी चाहिए।

हर सड़क पर, हर गली में, हर नगर, हर गाँव में,
हाथ लहराते हुए हर लाश चलनी चाहिए।

सिर्फ हंगामा खड़ा करना मेरा मकसद नहीं,
सारी कोशिश है कि ये सूरत बदलनी चाहिए।

मेरे सीने में नहीं तो तेरे सीने में सही,
हो कहीं भी आग, लेकिन आग जलनी चाहिए।

-- दुष्यंत कुमार

Newsweek(USA) says "We Are All Hindus Now"

2009-08-18T23:45:00.000-07:00

“We Are All Hindus Now” -headlines the article in the upcoming edition of prestigious newsmagazine “Newsweek”, saying “U.S. Views on God and Life Are Turning Hindu”. Written by its religion editor Lisa Miller, it says, “…recent poll data show that conceptually, at least, we are slowly becoming more like Hindus and less like traditional Christians in the ways we think about God, our selves, each other, and eternity.”

Below is full article:

link: http://www.newsweek.com/id/212155

------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
America is not a Christian nation. We are, it is true, a nation founded by Christians, and according to a 2008 survey, 76 percent of us continue to identify as Christian (still, that's the lowest percentage in American history). Of course, we are not a Hindu—or Muslim, or Jewish, or Wiccan—nation, either. A million-plus Hindus live in the United States, a fraction of the billion who live on Earth. But recent poll data show that conceptually, at least, we are slowly becoming more like Hindus and less like traditional Christians in the ways we think about God, our selves, each other, and eternity.

The Rig Veda, the most ancient Hindu scripture, says this: "Truth is One, but the sages speak of it by many names." A Hindu believes there are many paths to God. Jesus is one way, the Qur'an is another, yoga practice is a third. None is better than any other; all are equal. The most traditional, conservative Christians have not been taught to think like this. They learn in Sunday school that their religion is true, and others are false. Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me."
Americans are no longer buying it. According to a 2008 Pew Forum survey, 65 percent of us believe that "many religions can lead to eternal life"—including 37 percent of white evangelicals, the group most likely to believe that salvation is theirs alone. Also, the number of people who seek spiritual truth outside church is growing. Thirty percent of Americans call themselves "spiritual, not religious," according to a 2009 NEWSWEEK Poll, up from 24 percent in 2005. Stephen Prothero, religion professor at Boston University, has long framed the American propensity for "the divine-deli-cafeteria religion" as "very much in the spirit of Hinduism. You're not picking and choosing from different religions, because they're all the same," he says. "It isn't about orthodoxy. It's about whatever works. If going to yoga works, great—and if going to Catholic mass works, great. And if going to Catholic mass plus the yoga plus the Buddhist retreat works, that's great, too."

Then there's the question of what happens when you die. Christians traditionally believe that bodies and souls are sacred, that together they comprise the "self," and that at the end of time they will be reunited in the Resurrection. You need both, in other words, and you need them forever. Hindus believe no such thing. At death, the body burns on a pyre, while the spirit—where identity resides—escapes. In reincarnation, central to Hinduism, selves come back to earth again and again in different bodies. So here is another way in which Americans are becoming more Hindu: 24 percent of Americans say they believe in reincarnation, according to a 2008 Harris poll. So agnostic are we about the ultimate fates of our bodies that we're burning them—like Hindus—after death. More than a third of Americans now choose cremation, according to the Cremation Association of North America, up from 6 percent in 1975. "I do think the more spiritual role of religion tends to deemphasize some of the more starkly literal interpretations of the Resurrection," agrees Diana Eck, professor of comparative religion at Harvard. So let us all say "om."

By Lisa Miller | NEWSWEEK

Published Aug 15, 2009

From the magazine issue dated Aug 31, 2009

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Newsweek, launched in 1933, is published from New York City in four English language and 12 global editions and has a worldwide circulation of over four million. Jon Meacham is the editor. It is owned by The Washington Post Company with Donald E. Graham as chairman.

I think we are slowly entering in the era of Spiritual Reniassance envisaged by great seers and sages, a few to name are - Shankaracharya, Ramkrishna Paramhansa, Swami Vivekananda, Sri Aurobindo, Maharishi Raman, Pt. Shriram Sharma Acharya and thousands more. An era, when religious tolerance will win over fanaticism, when Science and spirtualtiy will compliment each other, when rational thinking will beat religious dogmas and traditional beliefs, when religion will not be a tool to fight, proselytize and beat in numbers but to live a true life of being human, when east & west and hence the world unite.

At this moment, I remember few quotes by these great saints and rejoice the great thoughts which started shaping in the general human thinking.

"Very good. It is enough to have faith in either aspect. You believe in God without form; that is quite all right. But never for a moment think that this alone is true and all else false. Remember that God with form is just as true as God without form. But hold fast to your own conviction." - Ramakrishna Paramhansa, in conversation with 'M', The gospel of Sri Ramakrishna

"The Christian is not to become a Hindu or a Buddhist, nor a Hindu or a Buddhist to become a Christian. But each must assimilate the spirit of the others and yet preserve his individuality and grow according to his own law of growth.

If the Parliament of Religions has shown anything to the world, it is this: It has proved to the world that holiness, purity and charity are not the exclusive possessions of any church in the world, and that every system has produced men and women of the most exalted character. In the face of this evidence, if anybody dreams of the exclusive survival of his own religion and the destruction of the others, I pity him from the bottom of my heart, and point out to him that upon the banner of every religion will soon be written in spite of resistance: "Help and not fight," "Assimilation and not Destruction," "Harmony and Peace and not Dissension." " - Swami Vivekananda, CONCLUDING ADDRESS, World Parliament of Religions - Chicago, Sept 27, 1893

You say that you ask only for the Truth and yet you speak like a narrow and ignorant fanatic who refuses to believe in anything but the religion in which he was born. All fanaticism is false, because it is a contradiction of the very nature of God and of Truth. Truth cannot be shut up in a single book, Bible or Veda or Koran, or in a single religion. The Divine Being is eternal and universal and infinite and cannot be the sole property of the Mussulmans or of the Semitic religions only,—those that happened to be in a line from the Bible and to have Jewish or Arabian prophets for their founders. Hindus and Confucians and Taoists and all others have as much right to enter into relation with God and find the Truth in their own way. All religions have some truth in them, but none has the whole truth; all are created in time and finally decline and perish. - Sri Aurobindo, From a letter to a Muslim disciple who started making violent demands which he tried to justify on “religious” grounds.

I wish I would: E. Sreedharan

2009-05-03T21:48:00.000-07:00

[Dear Friends, It's difficult to answer when someone asks me, who is your ideal as it defines my thinking process, my character, my lifestyle, my likes and dislikes. Yet we're lucky to have chain of great sages & saints, thinkers, patriots, freedom-fighters, researchers, enterpreneurs, politicians(yes, I feel we've not lost Chanakya in mud of current list of politiicains) -- who or part of his work can contribute to our own ideal. In this series, I wish I would, --- few of them whom I feel observed closely and want to become like them in some or other sense. Hope you'll enjoy these characters, if not agree to like them as I. It would be good if people share their ideals too in this forum. The first of the series is - E. Sreedharan, the man behind Delhi Metro Railway Corporation. ]
Well, this is for those who feel that invoking Spirituality in Corporate Culture would be quite an impractical idea to think about or "Spirituality" and "Corporate Culture" are two opposite ends of a normal human life or group i.e. one cannot possess both.In this I would talk about a person, who invoked "Spirituality" in his corporate and achieved an unbelievable success through that.I am in a stage to talk about him, I personally met him in one of his talk at IISc, bangalore titled "Social Responsibility for Civil Engineers", in which I saw his magnanimous way of thinking.Well,you might of guessed who the person is?If not, let me give you some more clues.He is a 74 years young person, young because he still has energy to work for the corporate, a civil engineer by profession working for a government company.His current sallary is 39000-40000 per month (quite a low when think about corporate packages and his 40 years of experience in the same company), but his sallary cannot be an indication of his great personalityand his work, as he refused a job offer of 60 times of his current salary i.e. 24 lakhs per month from a private sector and still no complain about current low sallary........"But don't you think if the government paid its good people more ... I know that you have a more detached outlook to this, and you are a builder ...It is difficult for the government to pay such high salaries because it is a huge organisation ... You know, such a large number of people. And you retain such quality men. But temptation on your good people to go away must be great.Very much. Because people have children, they have families ...Very much. But one thing again is the job satisfaction they get here, the exposure to technologies, and the work ethics. These they are valuing very much. The other thing is that, you know, while wages may be less, I believe what you've done is, in a way, immunise them from other problems people working in the government have. Like corruption, inefficiency, politics, crossed-wires. Would you say that? Or would you just say that God's been kind?No, there have been attempts to interfere in our method of working and all that. But we have stood firm. We have not allowed any of these considerations to affect our work style or the progress of the work."Well, if it's still not clear or if it makes someone think that I am talking about a crazy person, let me talk about his work and his achievements....He is the person because we are talking about comfort of less trafffic in delhi and journey in a delhi metro.When the project of delhi Metro was proposed by Indian government, the entire world has laughed upon this idea because they thought it's is impossible to make a metro in such a crowdy area.And, he was the person who completed this project in 7 years ( 3 years ahead of target date and within budget, while it took more than 2 decades to build kolkata metro.He always has the habit to do impossible looking things, for example "Konkan Railway"............"The project was unique in many respects. It was the first major project in India to be undertaken on a BOT (Build-Operate-Transfer) basis; the organisation structure was different from that of a typical Indian Railway set-up; the project had 93 tunnels along a length of 82 km and involved tunneling through soft soil. The total project covered 760 km and had over 150 bridges. That a public sector project could be completed without significant cost and time overruns was considered an achievement by many."In the current situtation,when we start of complaining of political troubles as soon as we start of good work, how did he managed it???"But do you do some of that by absorbing a few of the tensions yourself or do you just use the strength of your personality to keep the trouble-makers at bay?It is basically at my own level. But I had one advantage. When I came to this project, I had come with a reputation. And that reputation helped me. They knew that here's a man who means business, who's not interested in anything else except completion of the work. I suppose politicians now know, that at the end of the day, they can get somebody who will give them a showpiece project. They at least may be able to go to the elections with that, instead of trying to milk it to get their own people appointed or trying to give their own people contracts. Do you see a change in Indian politics?Very much, very much. In fact I have seen that in the initial stages I had this sort of problem, but today they appreciate it. They respect my style of working, the way I conduct business. And they find that results are showing, which is to their benefit. It gives them the credit."Well, due to his extra-ordinary works, government of France has awarded him the citizen award- Chevalier de la Legion d'Honneur (Knight of the Legion of Honour) in 2005.(for refreshment, I would like to add the point that this is the same award for which Amitabh Bachchan was in hype in newspapers early this year(jan 2007) for getting it).He has also been awarded with one of the Asia's heroes by TIME in 2003, Padmashri by GOI in 2001, Man of the year by TOI in 2002, one of India's 50 most powerful people by India Today magazine and several others.Well, I feel I have talked a lot, quite a big mail ofcourse, now its time to announce his name with respect, He is none other than E. Sreedharan, the metro man.But how did he managed it-"Sreedharan took up the challenge and advanced the deadline by a month, making the task tougher. He made the bridge functional in 46 days. He achieved this by the application of some 'commonplace values'-discipline, punctuality and honesty-and the introduction of a new work culture. These traits continue. After the Delhi Metro Rail Corporation (DMRC) was set up, one of the first things Sreedharan did as managing director was to instil a "sense of corporate culture". And, what is the force which constantly inspires him to take herculeon tasks and go ahead till completion-
"He thanks God for giving him success। "I am a religious person but religion does not mean going to temples. To me it means leading a virtuous life," he says. Success and virtue. A rare combination in today's world. But they run side by side in Sreedharan's life. Like rail tracks."

References-
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/E._Sreedharan http://www.muraleedharan.com/legends_sreedharan.html http://in.rediff.com/money/2006/mar/13binter.htm http://in.rediff.com/money/2006/mar/10minter.htm http://www.indianexpress.com/res/web/pIe/full_story.php?content_id=35536
Talk at IISc, bangalore on "Social Responsiblity for Civil Engineers"

Slum is in the aire

2009-02-25T01:35:00.000-08:00

Slum is in the aire

Ecstasy all over ! Indians are proud ! Slumdog Millionaire has won 8 oscars out of 10 nominations. The same joy as it were among the Indians when Aishwarya Rai and Susmita Sen bagged two major beauty pageants in the same year(1994) and the entire world became a fan of Indian beauty.

Lagaan and then, Taare Zameen Par despite of a well deserved story line and direction , and huge campaigning couldn't make a single one but SG has made it 8. What does one feel - is it just a coincidence or the omens are good for India?? Being a follower of scientific spirituality, I don't believe on good or bad omens. And I am always skeptic to series of good events happening around me. So i feel there is a certain reason for every coincidence. What it could be here??

Well perhaps there was large decrease in profits of cosmetics and fashion market and then a brilliant idea came in their mind. What about a large woman population in India, can they be attracted to it. Someone says- "No, they've a strong bonding to their Indian culture, which already defined them what to wear and what to not."

"So what, the same culture taught them what and how to read but look at the intelligent Macaulay, entire India reads what we want them to read."

and they suddenly started seeing beauty in Indian girls and then a series of indian names in top beauty paegents competition after 1994 and hence a big market of expensive cosmetics brands and fashion wears in India. Now a girl in India(at least in metros) will be called uncivilized if doesn't use these products and doesn't at least dream to get exposed in such beauty competitions.

Now come to Oscars. Lagaan didn't deserve it, why?? because it represented bad british and poor Hindus/Muslims united against whites, while SM deserved it because it represents nice americans and bad indians(remember the dialogue - Jamal says to an American tourist couple, when he rolls on the ground after a brutal beating by the police, 'You want to see the real India? Here it is!') and more here it shows a riot among hindus and muslims and so Rehman who was giving bad music till today and now he is giving good?

Why we are so obsessed with White color? with oscar. Tell me one single advantage India has got. Even the child actors’ parents have accused the hit film’s producers of exploiting and underpaying the eight-year-olds . They have received less than what many Indian domestic servants get, the newspaper said. As Aamir khan rightly points out, it's not an Indian movie and Amitabh bachchan says - "If 'Slumdog Millionaire' projects India as Third World dirty underbelly developing nation and causes pain and disgust among nationalists and patriots, let it be known that a murky underbelly exists and thrives even in the most developed nations,...Its just that the 'Slumdog Millioanire' idea authored by an Indian and conceived and cinematically put together by a westerner, gets creative global recognition". Even

To give you a flavor of how to create uproar, controversy and hence get entries in oscars - The film is christened from the novel by Vikas Swarup named 'Q & A' but the protagonist character name is changed from Ram Mohammad Thomas, who was a representation of religious unity to Jamal, just a section and then torture by Indian police and then filthy portray and then riots and so on.

It is a naked truth that Western countries has always portrayed India as a open toilet and garbage, they are never interested in the other side of the shining India. If westerners have the innovation and courage, why don't they concentrate on pedophiles(I'll rather say pedopigs), racial abuses, homeless people, exploitation of African people for medical drug testings, uninsured people dying because of high medical bills, fanatic killing by students, Americans war against Iraq, Divorces and breaking family bondings, mad experiments in the name of science(Large Hadron Collider at the CERN laboratory) and I am many interesting topics prevalent in their countries.

Wake up Indians. Come out of slave minds. Don't let exploit yourself in the name of entertainment and awards. Unwear the colored western glass and then you'll be able to realize the truth. Remember as T P Sreenivasan( former ambassador of India to the United Nations) says - "..the film is exploitation of the novel, of Dharavi, of poverty, of Rahman, of India itself to titillate foreign audiences. It is the exploitation of the new curiosity about India's success."

Relevant links:

Slumdog- A poverty Porn

http://www.rediff.com/movies/2009/feb/16-slumdog-poverty-porn-at-its-worst.htm

Why Slumdog won

http://in.news.yahoo.com/48/20090224/1241/top-it-shouldn-t-have-won.html

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Slumdog-sparks-artistic-freedom-debate-in-China/articleshow/4213610.cms

Happy India: http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601088&sid=a6ovr2KGwu64&refer=muse

Hemamilini:

http://www.ptinews.com/pti%5Cptisite.nsf/0/0978E25C1665FC1265257562005A0C43?OpenDocument

Amitabh:

http://entertainment.in.msn.com/bollywood/article.aspx?cp-documentid=1782607

Aamir Khan:

http://music.ndtv.com/music_story.aspx?id=ENTEN20090084475&type=musicindia

Child Exploitation:

http://www.zimbio.com/Slumdog+Millionaire/articles/201/Slumdog+Millionaire+Child+Exploitation

http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1225206

http://in.news.yahoo.com/241/20090128/1271/ten-parents-say-children-exploited-in-sl.html

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/4347472/Poor-parents-of-Slumdog-millionaire-stars-say-children-were-exploited.html

http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2009/jan/30/slumdog-millionaire-accused-of-exploiting-actors

What Indians feel:

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-fg-india-slumdog24-2009jan24,0,1162547.story

To play with Sentiments of a section:

http://www.dailypioneer.com/152164/Slumdog-is-about-defaming-Hindus.html

The views expressed above are my own and doesn't represent view of any particular organization or group.

New Year : New Resolutions

2008-12-29T03:33:00.001-08:00

Let me start with wishing everybody a very happy new year 2009 in advance. I've got a competition at my office - One has to take a new resolution for the new year and the best resolution will be get awarded. I start to think what best resolution I can take so that I can get awarded and then get drifted away to many thoughts which keep revolving in my mind to divert me from research.

The world and the fate till now is very fair with me and my family. I've got a very caring parents, an elder sister - married and living happily, an elder brother - highly qualified but (perhaps) voluntarily not accepting small jobs with the sole intention to get placed in a high-profile job(and I am sure he'll make it). I've got a very good job- handsome salary, security, flexible working hours, profile of my interest(interest), many caring friends (No, I don't have gf or gfs if you suspect as I don't like 'oxford' meaning of it. Yes if you ask I do have many female friends) and many marriage proposals. So, what else I need. I really couldn't think up any resolution I should take.

And then I get a challenge me if I can prove if I can anyway differentiate myself from an animal - " Some tears can be wiped, some blood can be washed and life restarted. Indians are attuned to this routine for centuries, overcoming waves of invasion and carnages. Animals are better healed by time than medicine. Dawa se dua kabhi kabhi accha hota hain, as they say in Urdu-sometimes prayer is better than medicine. These clichés are parts of our lulling process, which we recite and go to sleep. After all, the animal must live and continue to survive. "(ref: http://maloykrishnadhar.com/do-not-wash-this-blood-do-not-wipe-this-tear-get-angry).

It badly hurts my ego of being successful figure, my self-dignity of being a respected civilised citizen, my proudness of being an Indian and last but not the least my chauvinistic view of being a 'male'. It takes away my sleep and I start searching for a single quality that can make me superior to animals except that I can be a part of fashion show as I've the choice to choose a cloth to wear.

What I did till now?? What we as Indians did till now?? Yes we've shouted slogans - we're descendents of great aryas and rishis, our culture is the best... blah blah but ever we tried to protect the values of those established by them? Did we ever tried live or even understand the culture, the spirituality, the religion whom we've often found talking? We followed and worshiped Rama, Krishna, Buddha etc by different-different names but never cared to imbibe a single quality of them. We never understood the basic philosophy of Indian religion that one can reach the status of God if one starts adopting Godly qualities though we worshiped Gyaneshwar, Tukaram, Ramkrishna Paramhansa, Vivekanand, Sai baba, Samarth Guru Ramdas etc.

We often went in front of God idols with new demands every time (mostly by bribing him). What if the God demands something from us - Our courage, our examples, our actions to prove that greatness of God?

'Action speaks louder than words' and it has been repeated loudly many times through many verses, in many versions, by many examples but still it is practised in words only. May be I've got a good point to take resolution. I'll try to understand the core values of spirituality to the limit of my mind and boost the inner-self, with self-confidence so that it I can stand against undesired in whatever way. I'll conquer 'lust and gold' to the extent possible without renouncing the world, and prove the greatness of my God, my Guru, whom I belief through example of mine. I'll make awake the God inside me.

I also pray my God to punish me if I ever deviate from my resolution.

after a long time...

2008-12-17T04:10:00.000-08:00

I feel it's a long time since I've made any entry to my blog. Well, perhaps I am more busy than Amitabh Bachchan or Aamir khan, so not able to maintain my blog very frequently [;)]. By the way, during these four months, lots of important events passed through my life, which .

To make a note of few, I appeared in GRE and comfortably screwed it, I visited home, witnessed Indians turning Maharashtrians and vice-versa, Read lots of hues and crys over so-called Digvijay Singh's Hindu Terrorism, and then also faced what could be the real face of terrorism. Let me also recollect, what were the important events during these days, when I actually thought to express my voice in the blog but couldn't - perhaps when i saw Jesus Christ being worshipped like a Hindu God with flowers and akshat in a temple-kind of structure somewhere in Jharkhand, when I need to write an essay and arguement for GRE exam(I thought it could be a good platform, where other's comments will evaluate my skill), when I visited Vanchit-vikas neehar, an institution of rehabilitation of children of commercial sex workers, during Deewali, when I visited and closely watched the life of people from red-light area, When I saw Indians dying, being beaten up on their soil in the fire of regionalism, when I saw people changing their faith and religion so that they can lawfully embrace their spouse, when I saw Tata's coming out of Singur, when I saw Taj burning, when my damped eyes became unusually red over the reactions of politicians on Mumbai terror attack, when I recently visited Akola to attend a youth camp by Gayatri Pariwar.............and how many more times.

Well I think I am missing something, there are many events, mush more important than this - India got first gold in olympics and Abhinav Bindra got award of more than 5 crores, Indian cricket team proudly beated Australia and england - in one-day as well as test, Rakhi Sawant bagged many controversies, Rahul Mahajan broke the rules of big-boss, Pravathy Omanakuttan just missed one step to became 3rd miss world of India............

You know the problem with the country - Movies don't mimic citizen lifes but citizens copy the screens, sports donot reflect patriotism - patriotism burst out of game, - people have became habituated to live in illusion and forget the truth. Somewhere I read a good quote - "Reality is an illusion caused by alcohol deficiency" - I feel India has became the country of drunkards, where they keep living in imaginary world, most of the times the world created by fancy people, till they die. For example, I don't know how many people not affected by recent terror attack at mumbai, could feel the pain of motherland India, but they'll definitely cry when they see Ritesh Deshmukh dying by a bullet of a terrorist in Ram Gopal Verma's movie with a background score.

If the citizens of a country are like, I couldn't perceive what'll be future of my country. Infact my future too - Will I able to reach a natural death or become a victim of terror attack or a riot due to regional, religional, lingual differences, die in an accident by falling from a highly crowded local or come under a truck due to undisciplined traffic, die of a heart attack or diseases like cancer, aids etc, die of a natural disaster, which perhaps shouldn't be termed as natural but these are actually caused by human exploitation of nature. Probably that is story of each & every citizen living particularly in metropolitans. They die everyday before death, when going out, with the fear that they don't know that will they be able to see the face of wife or children or family again. Still if we can't think up any revolution, I feel we're so habituated to the 'drink' that it has failed our nervous system to think or stand or arise against what is undesired.

The erratic in me ...?

2008-08-08T01:24:00.000-07:00

One day I get a good morning mail reading - "A good relation doesn't depend on how good understandings we've but how better we can avoid misunderstandings." and my memories goes back to the days when I lost(perhaps??) many good relations, which I could've cherished much better due to my uncompromising behavior when an misunderstanding came in the way and most recently the compassion, love and care of our very good sisters(For whom I care too much!). Did I really loose the good relations?- I don't feel so, I only changed the way how I was cherishing it. May I became a bit matured! May be I don't need lap of Mamma any more to feel her love for me. Does this any diminish my love and care to any one?

When the misunderstanding arose and so called the erratic in me started appearing in me, I've been wished with many sorries and explanations but in spite of getting convinced that everything is now smooth, the erratic in refused to disappear(I may look for why?). And the obvious questions that was frequently asked by the sisters to me that did I get hurt due to any their act? Did I? Did anyone? A simple answer can be - did Papa get hurt when I couldn't fulfill his expectations at any moment of time?

Ultimately everything boils down to expectations. Exceptions here means, expectation that our relations have reached up to the level to be compared with any blood-relation, that they can fight, quarrel or even beat me if they don't agree with me at some point, expectation that I'll never hurt them.

BTW, how to get rid of these expectations? and I choose the way, which may called the escapist way. Perhaps, this is the best way for the kind of persons as me. Let your emotions give a different direction - the direction which every enlightened person including our Gurudev suggests- get rid of Moha as you break the thread! Well, it doesn't mean to abandon every relationship but to come out of relational complexity, doesn't get attached to one particular face or body but to get attached to beautiful conciousness which is equally present in every creature, doesn't let anybody cry including you due to various expectations but take a path going through min expectations and can make most of them smile, to make all the relations smooth rather than zig-zag, to learn the way to accept people in their way and if possible learn and teach better ways to live. But Is it so simple? - perhaps no, perhaps very difficult, perhaps next to impossible - my mann says.

And, then my soul interrupts - 'did u born to do only simple things? You cry when you find you can't meet the expectations of your sisters or say, vice versa? Doesn't your eyes gets wet, when you see thousands of your brothers and sisters are crying with much difficult problems? Didn't they expect anything from you?'

And, hence I find why my erratic refuse to disappear. Once a relation gets taste of complexities- the cries, the sorries, the formalities - come out of it easily without hurting anyone or else you'll be trapped. But In the way, you loose the many opportunities to have experience and learn learn from these souls, you loose to see your friends to their emotional best, you make an image to have a personality with erratic behavior and quite unemotional, you loose the love and care you would've been if you continued to go on the same way with few tears and smiles but that is the price you pay right when you decide that that you've to play a role , which may need sacrifice at every step. Perhaps here I begin to understand..........

So what...??

2008-02-14T07:22:00.000-08:00

So what, I spent one more day in office and did nothing special compared to a normal day. How does it matter? or does it?? Was I supposed to do something special or for that say, different from other day, today? Yes, I was, thats what record chain of mails in my mail box probably says or the statistical data of a survey reflects - 'Indians are Asia's second-most romantic lot with 68.5 per cent of them showing affection for their partners on this day - Valentines day'?? And, if the too 'numerical' people consider its because of population in India, then please, China is not the no. 1.

Wow, its an achievement, isn't it?? India again on picture. Shouldn't be the same thrilling feeling again, when our country, has demonstrated Asia's fastest supercomputer bypassing China and Japan?

..............Yes, what you are feeling is true, I am too sarcastic and hard. And, I don't find any reason, why I shouldn't be. It doesn't mean that I am unemotional or not romantic or I live with certain dogmatic principles to accept or reject things, but its sort of accumalation of emotions due to unpleasant truths, which always cover my romanticism. I live in an independent country where I have to stay in the room with fear because I may become a victim of certain special 'regional' countrymen. I live in a country where a woman gives birth to a child in a dirty toilet of train due to fear of getting killed for being a north-indian(http://in.news.yahoo.com/indiaabroad/20080214/r_t_ians_nl_general/tnl-train-from-mumbai-our-only-crime-is-b9e311f.html).

How am I supposed to suppress my emotions, rather give a U-turn to my emotions to be romantic just a day after the incidents happened? OK, I try to forget it. Whatever happened was a sort of misfortune or mishappenings. But again, how can I sleep with certaintity that it'll not happen again? How can I consider myself safe and start walking on the most expansive street with my girlfriend to celebrate the romantic evening of this V-day? Or, who'll guarantee this safety?

Ok, I try to become a bit neutral, try to do an analysis and come to the root cause why it happened, so that one can get a solution or atleast get a preventive measure. Forget about the political drama or media irresponsibilty and come to the real and natural public emotion or more specifically outburst. I feel it's not that people suddenly came out on the road and started beating a certain class without any reason(If I am not wrong) on one's call(Man is not a wild animal by instinct). There must be something lying in their mind from a long time that they are not getting enough employment opportunities or resources due to intrusion of other class.

Ok, get inside again, the other class which referred here is Biharis and UP-residents and they are mainly low-wages workers.So, why they've migrated leaving their own family or city? It'll be too blasphemous to say that they less intelligent than the rest of the Indians, then why? It is also being heard quite commanly that they are not honest or not ethically strong. What make them dishonest?? Get more in, start looking at their home, their family, their burdens. They are perhaps the most neglected class in political history of last 40-50 years. They are intelligent but not educated. They are performers but they don't have stage. They want to live but they don't have home. But, still they want to survive for their family, for their children. And, for that if they migrate, they become a criminal, they become a thief, they twitch others job, is it a sin???

I know writing a blog here will not solve any purpose, nor I expect by reading this mail, people will drop celebrating Valentines day. That is not at all my purpose. I also don't intent by writing this to increase the outrage, of a particular community for that sake, against any government or an individual as I feel that any particular policy will not be helpful without awakening the people who forgot to live. My sole purpose to write this mail is that I know the people who read it, if read, will be in a position of being privileged ones than them, and if they wish they can change a few lives, they can lessen few crimes, they can avoid a few misfortunes which is going to happen in near future due to regionalism or whatever, by distributing their knowledge, helping the unpriviledged ones and awakening the mass to stand at their feet with self-respect.

The country cannot be called progressive if the number of cars of few bureaucrats increases, it'll called progressive if a comman man of India start walking on road with self-dignity and self-pride without any fear.

Finally, I conclude with few lines of famous poet and shayar Sahir Ludhiyanvi -

Zindagi sirf mohabbat hi nahi kuchh aur bhi hai,
Zulf-o-rukhsar ki jannat hi nahi kuchh aur bhi hai,
Bhookh aur pyaas se bhari is duniya mein,
Ishq hi ek haqiqat nahi kuch aur bhi hai??

I feel this mail will not go to the "So what.........?" list of intellectuals.

Implicitly Recommended Procedure

2007-04-18T06:23:00.000-07:00

It was my interview for a well-known MNC, in which I've qualified in technical round and I was sitting in front of a beautiful HR, when this question was thrown at me-"If u'll be a given a much better than this company is offering and also a better job profile than this, will u leave our company for that?"----Well, isn't it a stupid question to ask..What she wants to hear, the truth that she already knows, which is also applicable to her or the answer she feels comfortable to hear, doesn't matter if it is 100% untruth.I replied instantly-"No, Never, this is the dream job for me" and I got selected.I know I was a liar and I felt no guilt abt it because the selectors were also knowing it well..........but the worst scene came when a person better than me in all technical and aptitude got screened because he has told the truth, which was quite unpleasent for the HR...............and here it goes!!!!!!!!

I had to make a Passport for me and for verification I've been called at police station.There also I've been enquired so many stupid questions, U don't bring extra photo?Your address proof is not satisfactory?It'll take time to get passport b'coz it requires more verifiaction? etc etc, till I took out a 100 Rs. note 4m my packet and handed to him.I got my passport ready within 15 days.

I had to take my certificate out 4m my last institution, which is reqd to join a co. and hence I wanted the process to be quick.I faced the same pbm there and I applied the same procedure- I got certificates in my hand within few hours, which in normal case takes many days.Well in all above cases my intution have worked for me, which my brain has learnt from experiences and now its like a theory of "Implicitly Recommended Procedure".

According to definition of character, I must be defined as a corrupt person since I abetted corruption, I am a liar.I admit and I'll not seek for any kind of euphemistic word which'll prove me less corrupt or so, since I've seen the persons who have not compromised from there principles due to any preference.The world name them "Fools" and persons like me "Smart".

This blog is dedicated to those "fools", who lived their life with principles and gave a new definition to success or satisfaction.Well,some persons(even me) may debate that what I did was the practical approach and this is the system we are living in but the question is "Upto how much time this so called "Implicitly Recommended Procedure" system will sustain?".Will not someday the co. will feel that that they have selected a wrong person due to their willingness of listenting to an pleasent untruth or the dishonest persons will realize that by doing corruption actually thay are giving birth to new system which closely harms their family members at first.Certainly this system is unstable and will eventually collapse some day, when the people will get bored by speaking and listening falsehood, people will realize that the system they hv made is not actually supportive for anybody.

We may or may not see that day but when it becomes will we be able to appreciate the activities of those fools?Will we accept them as a real successful person?I am afraid not, we'll forget them as we forgot our freedom fighters.But, they are the few persons who live and die for principles, for whom success, name, fame, money---are non-understable words and to be frankly speaking those few persons are only maintaining the balance of entire Universe otherwise it would have toppled much before.

Follow Your Dreams

2007-01-28T21:51:00.000-08:00

Well, this is my first blog in new year.I thought I'll start it from my birthday following 'chief'.But, I couldn't do that because that day I realized how rapidly I am loosing my importance to others?So, although I claim that I share all my good-bad feelings in this open diary , that day I couldn't dare to do that.But, anywaz that was the past, I've got many new things added in my life since that day and I wanna share few of them.

17 Jan 2007 can be said to be a milestone in my life because that day I got my first job in a very good company.However, the way that I got this was quite funny because it included all the stupid things that I usually do ranging from giving some stupid answers in technical interview and to counter-balance this mistake, sharing my personal matters (including my poems) with the HR person.That day, I was very happy.I called almost everybody until my balance turned to zero.

I started spending most of my time by next day on orkut and meebo, so that I can inform rest about this achievement (I personally feel this can never be said as achievement).However, I want to mention here that I had one more option left to sit for interview in a second job called DREAM option.But, I didn't think much about this dream after getting first job.

After 5 days of my placement, I was still busy in orkutting.After each min, I was refreshing my scrapbook to see new scraps and once I did it I suddenly saw a flood of same messages from a friend like this-

"don't laugh at this! Just do it!
My best friend just did this, this morning, wished for her promotion
and just got a call and she got it.

Start thinking something you really really want, cause this is
astounding. the person that sent this to me said their wish came true
10 mins after they read the mail so I thought what the heck.

******
######
******
######
************
(,)(,)

*....*

You have just been visited by Dr.Suess's Cat in the Hat. He will grant
you
one wish.
Make your wish when the count down is over.

10..
9..
8..
7..
6..
5..
4..
3 ..
2..
1..
MAKE A WISH
Send this to 10 people within the hour you read this.
If you do, your wish will come true! . If you don't it will become the
opposite "

I often get these kind of messages on my mobile also but being a researcher , I never believe these kind of superstitions.But, to reply him I just took an euphemistic approach-"Dear, as I already got job and I am quite satisfied now.So, right now I don't have any wish or dream.But, anywaz thanks for your message."

But, as soon as I sent this message I got one mail from placement centre, which contained name of shortlisted candidates for CRL interview.I saw it didn't contain my name, then suddenly I realized I had a dream.From the day I got my first job, my heart was punching me again and again to get CRL.It was really very upsetting for me to not to be shortlisted even for first interview.Was it the consequence of ignoring the message I got just now?Will I have to believe on superstitions?

I mailed again to the concerned person of CRL mentioning my achievements and knowledge, but invain.They told that somehow I didn't fit into their requirement.

Then I talked to him on phone to persuade him but still they were not convinced to allow me for interview.I was very-2 upset, because all my achievements were not working for me.But, my heart was not willling to accept that I am not fit for that.May be HE has already accepted CRL as a dream.From that day I never turned textbooks to prepare for CRL interview but I don't know why my heart was still positive.

26th was the date, when CRL was coming to recruit students but the night before I woke up almost whole night because I have to prepare for the Sadbhavana Daud(republic day run) on republic day organised by Hindi Samiti (As I am the president of this student's group).On 26th early morning, I successfully organised Sadbhavana Daud for students, then I participated in Flag Hoisting ceremony and then just to respect feelings of my heart I moved towards placement center to attend pre-placement talk of CRL.During PPT, I realized if want to persue a job, I can't get a better place than this.Because, the job was quite challenging and it was made with a vision by a visionary person.But, what to do.......I can only blame to my fate?

I asked few questions in PPT and after that I requested again the team to allow me for the interview.Due to my request again and again, they finally told if the time permits after taking interview of shortlisted candidates they may permit me.However, they advised I should not be very much positive.After lunch still the first interview of shortlisted candidates was going on.I was loosing my hope as the time was proceeding but my heart was still positive.As, I didn't sleep the night before I slept on the furniture in the placement centre thereself.

Around 3:50 p.m., somebody woke me up and told me that I'll be given 5 mins to present myself in front of interview board.It was a great risk, beacuse once I appear in interview, it means I'll loose my dream option i.e. I can't sit in any more company.But, that time I've to listen to my heart, I just washed my face and came to appear in the interview.However, i was so unprepared that I didn't have my interview file with me at that moment.Fortunately, I got my one page resume in my bag and I just went with that.In interview, it was amazing I answered each and every question they asked.They were so convinced they shortlisted me for second interview.

Now, I started believing on my heart.I just ran to my room and collected all reports and file to show in the final interview.In second interview also, I did well.Then they asked how much sallary I expect from them.I just replied I am not here for the sallary, I am here because I dreamt that I'll work for it and finally the surprising moment came when I got selected for CRL.

I feel I am quite excited that I'll do something innovative.I don't know how much actually it will be true in future but I learnt to follow my dream.It also made my belief firm on not accepting any thing on superstitious ground.

Sometimes People surprise and ask how a student from chemical and aerospace background got selected in a company which works in 'High Performance Computing'?I simply smile and say to myself -"It's not me but my dream which carried me there............"

Code Name God

2006-12-18T10:42:00.000-08:00

"Code Name God"-I first came across this title, when I was preparing a list of books for our 'Ranade Library'(Well I am the convernor of that library) 2-3 months ago.Its a novel(possibly) written by Mani Bhaumik and to be honest I have not read any bit of it, not even the prologue.So, I don't know what actually it deals about.

But, some days back, I felt that this title has got some sense in my unconventional thinking.(I pardon if it does not show any resemblance with the theme of actual novel or may be its contradictory). This may be beacuse that time I was actually busy in writing a new (CFD)code for solving 'Navier-Stokes Equation'.That project has been assigned to me with one friend, but was really a herculean task to make it possible in a span of three effective months with four more courses going parallely.In addition to that, the more frustrating thing was none of us has the idea of writing code in 'Fortran' and we'll have to start from the zero.

Anywaz, we started it by taking help with some of our seniors.I came close to my friend while working with him and I found him a very funny, simple and straight forward guy.While working with him, I noticed a very interesting thing in him.He always has a picture of Lord Krishna on his desktop and after each time he booted his computer, he actually prayed first and then he started anything.Here I would like to mention one thing, that actually he has written the major part of the code and I was helping him in debugging that.

Somehow he has written the code and now the main task was to debug that.Each time we saw the code, we observed some error, we fixed that and run the fresh code for the given test code.But, before giving each run, he has closed his eyes, like praying to God and then pressed 'enter' to actually run it.But it was still showing some error.

We(mostly he alone) were spending around 5-6 hours daily at night to debug the code and before giving each run, he was repeating the same hoping that may this time the code will work properly but all invain.Sometimes it blowed up and sometimes it gave spurious results.We were applied all our limited knowledge and resoureces to make that possible, but we were not sure where the error was?I also don't know, why Krishna was not helping us especially him.

I finally got frustrated and gave up, but he was still fightting with the bugs and after a long fight of around two months, he gave me the news that our code is working well.It was a fantastic news and I knew it was next to impossible to crack that if he had not been with me.He told that he was able to crack it only because he had the support of Lord Krishna and so he wanted to go temple next day to thank Krishna.

I was a-bit surprised that How Krishna actually helped him in 'particularly' running the code, but anywaz I went with him to the temple.I also thanked Krishna for his kind support.After coming back from there he was doubly charged and he was so confident that he told that now he is now going to add some advanced techniques also into this code and believe me he actually did it.

Two days before, when we were preparing for viva, I was actually looking again at the code.He has almost written all the physics involved in that code in comment so that we can recall it later easily..But one place, at the most important subroutine, he has just commented 'Think and Thank'.When I asked him about it, he explained me the logic and told he write it because he has written code in a naive way so in future whenever he'll see it he will understand the physics and at the meantime he will also not forget to thank God.So, finally we apppeared in viva, we made presentations, we did well.Our teacher was also happy with us.

After all these over, I just sat and started thinking about me, Where I lost?Why I gave up? or more explicitly after a long series of frustrating failure why didn't he got frustrated and give up? Was really God helping him in making the Code?It sounds like a strange combination of science and spirituality but I think its true and the proof is our code is working well.

May be its not a very good example or I also don't claim that those who don't believe in God can't write these type of codes, they may be much more efficient than us but I feel the goal looks nearer or the path becomes easier inspite of various hurdles, if something is there which regularly gives us confidence, a push-back, a hope for sure that one day we are going to achieve our goal. Is there any problem if one gets this confidence to move ahead by Krishna or Rama or Allah or Isha?

I think I have discovered the God.God is nothing but a confidence, a feeling which always push you ahead, not to give up under any circumstances, not to be impatient, not to loose your temper because God says:

"You have a right to perform your prescribed action,but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action.
you should never be motivated by the results of the actions, nor should there be any attachment in not doing your prescribed activities"

("Karmanye Vadhikaraste Ma Phaleshu Kadachana,
Ma Karma Phala Hetur Bhurmatey Sangostva Akarmani")

Love Vs Life

2006-12-03T01:18:00.000-08:00

"........I am so sad that I don't have 'Kelly'
........But I am so grateful that she was with me on that (lonely) island.
........And I know what I have to do now.
........I gotta keep breathing.
........Because tomorrow the sun will rise.
........(And) who knows what the tide could bring?"

These are some dialogues from Tom Hanks movie -'Cast Away' that I watched yesterday.I found it very interesting as it deals about story of a FedEx employee who has been trapped alone in a lonely island near pacific ocean after a plane crash.He has no hope that he 'll be rescued.But, he struggled to live and the only thing that kept alived his interest in living life was the photo of his girlfriend(Kelly) whom he loved too much.
Finally somehow for 4 years, a tide brings him something that he can think of getting his world again.He struggles hard and somehow comes back to his world again but then he finds that his girlfriend has been married to someone else..............

I am forced to write this article because everybody fall in love at time, of them some gets trapped in ignorant world for sometime, of them some manages to fight back, resist against all the odds, wait for tides to come and get rescued because they have a hope called love but how many of them can resist their emotions if they find that they have lost their reason for hope, how many of them wait till next tide to come?
Recently, I went through a very unfortunate event that a student from IIT,Kanpur committed suicide (http://indianexpress.com/story/16149.html) and when I tried to peep inside I found the story was resembling somewhat like this.
I sometimes think that 'Is this love the necessary and sufficient reason to live a life ?' Is it that much important that without that a parent loses his son, a sibling loses his/her brother and last but not the least, a nation loses a talented citizen.

I am very sorry if this discussion is hurting someone's emotion but I want this discussion to be continued because it hurts me like anything when I find someone ends his life because he couldn't find a way how to suppress this emotion.From my childhood to being a so-called somewaht matured person I have seen thousands of such cases, in my village, in my hometown, in my school, in my college.
Love is the consequence of Life and Life is not a consequence of Love, than why 'Ending life becomes a consequence of End love'?

I am not a preacher or philosopher,but I am writing all these because sometimes I also have experienced such type of emotions but then I remembered one definition of life we often used to laugh during our easy moments( special thanks to Rupesh sir for his innovative mind)- "Life is like a running Trekker(a cab like Gypsy) over a road, you'll have to be fast to catch that but sometimes you find that you are so sluggish or the trekker is so fast that you can't catch that then just start walking along the road, may be you can invent life inside you some day"

The Modernisation of Lanterns

2006-11-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

I live in a place called Bangalore(now bengaluru), the name is important beacuse it has added one word in english dictionary 'Bangalored'(ref. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bangalored).This is a place where I can enjoy nice climate, no light cut, 24 hours water in your tap and in one line the whole worldly facilities at your door-step.So, when I go back to my village, people look as if I am from different planet.

On saturday, we have a birthday party and we decided to have it on a DHABA called 'Angeethi'
(http://www.indianfoodforever.com/eating-out/restaurants/bangalore/angeethi-restaurant-bangalore.html)
on M.G.Road.Most probably, we wanted to have some place where we can remember our past.

I was quite surprised by looking the scene at the Dhaba.All the walls have been nicely polished so that it was looking like earthen wall, electric pipe wirings outside the wall were there, one well was at the centre with GHIRNI, there was a cot(khatiya) made of rope ( Kalkatiya Sutri ) along with a pillow, a betel(Pan Dukan) shop at one corner in a gumti, Posters of famous amitabh bachchan movies(like Deewar,Sholay etc) surrounding the place, one 'thanda matlab coca-cola' advertisement on one side of wall,,waiters were wearing kurta-pyagama and ofcourse there was no A.C. It was open to surroundings as it was on the top floor, and the hotel persons have tried their best to give a 'rustic' look.

So, as I saw it at a glance, I felt that I came in a different world(far away from the city in some boorish place) but I observed it instantly that these all things are un-natural and were made intensionally, means there was no water in well, no electrical wire inside the pipe wirings, no earthen wall.

But still,the most beautiful thing I liked that there were Lanterns put at different places for light.It was exactly as the kerosene lantern still used at small towns.The only difference was in place of wick there was a filament, in place of gas flame, there was bulb lighting and in place of capillary effect there might be some Edison effect was working.

These all efforts were made to cover the urban look by a rustic look, but the question is why? what's of doing all these non-sense in a high-tech city, where persons are habituated to live a differnet life style.May be it has been done so to keep the price comparively low, I thought.But, as soon as I have seen the menu, my this doubt has also been cleared.The price was so high that It can compete any of the costiest restaurants in India but still the crowd was so high (all are from high profile family) so that one can't get place easily unless it has been booked in advance(We were quite fortunate in that sense as we reached far before the normal dinner time).

I saw the menu - Paneer-butter Masala- 145/-, Roti- 50/- per piece avg, Betel(sweet)- 20/- per piece, cold drinks- 45/-( I don't know the prices of non-veg. stuff as I am vegetarian).So, with ten persons we managed somehow under 3000/- (without any starter like soup and icecreams or sweets), I bet, the bill for same kind of food in same amount in same kind of environment will not go beyond 300/- in so called sub-urban or undeveloped places.(But, if the same thing will be served with that much price, will the person go or even the high-profile persons will enter?)

So,Is the 'rustic look' main reason of attraction for an urbanite?If this is true, doesn't look it absurd. I am trying the brain of a urbanite. Do the so called cosmopolite people ever want go back to place they have abandoned forever?Do they also feel to sleep sometimes on these so uncomfortable Cots(Khatiya)?Do they ever want be enjoy the light of Lantern?May be sometimes they miss it badly and then want to buy something that can propitiate their emotions, doesn't matter if it is artificial,emotions can also be fooled.

For me, answers of these questions are quite straight.Sometimes I get quite bored with this 'No Light Cut' and I wish if the light goes off at night while I am studying with my Papa and my Mama shouts from kitchen -'Hey Raju, light the lantern immediately.Oh, you have not filled kerosene in lantern na, you have not cleaned the chimey also.You know light is quite uncertain here, Why not you do it all in evening itself.'' And then I run to Lantern before Papa add something to it but I find Lanterns have been modernised now. I have got switches to play with light and so with with my emotions.....................

The girl, The chat & The sleep

2006-11-11T09:57:00.001-08:00

[before reading it, its a humble request to please go through 'Prologue']
Its 6 o'clock morning,I am on bed and trying hard to get asleep from last 2 hours, but I don't know why I am not getting sleep today.May be due to the chat with a 15 year old Brazilian girl.I don't know, I thought I'll not talk to her as it takes too much of time, but still.........?I want to recall the chat again and again that I did today, was there something so important in that chat that it takes my sleep away.

[07:35] lala: hi
[07:37] lala: .............
[07:47] lala: bleh
[07:48] lala: bleh
[07:48] lala: bleh
[07:48] lala: blah
[07:48] lala: bleh
[07:48] lala: blah
[07:48] lala: blah
[08:26] rajesh: hi
[08:27] lala: hello!!!
[08:27] rajesh: so, wats going on
[08:27] lala: very fine
///[08:27] rajesh: And, sorry for that day, I was a bit arrogant
//[08:28] rajesh: any waz, its night there na
//[08:28] lala: ok
//[08:28] lala: i forgif u
//[08:28] rajesh: thanx
//[08:29] lala: kk
//[08:29] rajesh: means
//[08:29] lala: i'm smiling
//[08:30] rajesh: so, I made the compensation
//[08:30] rajesh: That day i made u cry
//[08:30] lala: no
//[08:30] lala: i was joking
//[08:30] lala: 'cause i really send to u
//[08:30] lala: but u don't received
//[08:31] lala: i don't kwow the why
//[08:31] lala: this made me sad
//[08:31] rajesh: forget about that, i don't want your photo anymore
//[08:31] lala: 'cause u wasn't believe me
//[08:31] rajesh: sorry again
//[08:31] lala: but in my orkut has///
[08:32] rajesh: actually I am not checking my orkut for next 30 days
[08:32] lala: why/
[08:32] rajesh: just like that............
[08:33] rajesh: actually I made a resolution, I just want to be determined on that
[08:33] rajesh: noy any specific reason
[08:33] lala: oh ok
[08:34] rajesh: I am just weighing my determination
[08:34] lala: ok
[08:34] rajesh: U can read it in my profile in orkut also
[08:35] lala: but u're busy in this days/
[08:35] rajesh: ya, there is much load of project work now a days
[08:36] lala: r u tired
[08:36] rajesh: you are also studying na, how is student life there
[08:36] lala: ..........
[08:36] lala: for me isn't so busy
[08:36] rajesh: I hate being tired....................:)
[08:36] lala: 'cause i'm smart
[08:36] lala: yeah,i understand
[08:36] rajesh: you mean to say I am not smart
[08:37] lala: nono
[08:37] rajesh: OK, I accept
[08:37] lala: u r,u look like very smart
[08:37] lala: 'cause if u r busy
[08:37] lala: there are any gift for this
[08:38] rajesh: thanx
[08:38] lala: if u fight,u win
[08:38] lala: believe this
[08:38] rajesh: hey, while talkin to me, don't be serious
[08:39] lala: ok
[08:39] lala: ]
[08:39] rajesh: Actually, I am intensionally coining some situations to fight
[08:39] rajesh: After all, friends are meant to fight;)
[08:40] lala: u've to go out with yours friends
[08:40] rajesh: not today, tomorrow we have a grand party
[08:40] lala: uau
[08:41] rajesh: someone's b'day party.............
[08:41] lala: uau
[08:41] lala: finally
[08:41] rajesh: there u celebrate birthday's or not
[08:41] lala: me/
[08:41] lala: no/
[08:41] lala: was last month
[08:42] rajesh: what date......?
[08:42] lala: 16
[08:42] rajesh: Anywaz, happy BElated B'day
[08:43] lala: ok
[08:43] lala: thanks!!!
[08:43] lala: i am 15 years old!
[08:43] lala: uhu
[08:44] rajesh: Oooooooooooo great
[08:44] lala: i'm a tenn
[08:45] rajesh: but I am young--------------21..:D
[08:45] lala: :|
[08:46] rajesh: don't worry.........;)
[08:46] lala: i'm joking
[08:46] lala: u're very yuong yet
[08:47] rajesh: ya.......I am in intermediate phase
[08:47] lala: u're a grow tenn
[08:47] rajesh: I am just leaning , howww to become young?
[08:47] lala: ahah
[08:47] lala: be young is to live with happyness
[08:48] rajesh: thank you..............
[08:48] rajesh: and be teen to be even not aware of what is called worriness or sad
[08:49] lala: but it's the fase
[08:49] rajesh: In which standard you are
[08:50] lala: i don't care for what people think
[08:50] rajesh: means what?
[08:50] lala: i'm care for what i think right
[08:51] lala: and the right is what gos says
[08:51] lala: goD
[08:51] rajesh: that should be the approach
[08:51] lala: after/
[08:53] rajesh: It seems you are very mature
[08:53] lala: i've lost my parents
[08:54] lala: tht's why
[08:54] rajesh: I am very sorry, if I hurted you
[08:54] lala: no
[08:55] lala: ]
[08:55] lala: nothing
[08:55] lala: isn't your fault
[08:55] lala: ok
[08:55] lala: do u've sisters/
[08:55] rajesh: ya
[08:55] rajesh: we are two brothers and one sister
[08:56] lala: cool!
[08:56] lala: i don't have
[08:56] lala: but i have many cousins
[08:56] rajesh: Ok, then you can enjoy with them
[08:56] lala: aham
[08:57] rajesh: so, u are living with your uncle
[08:57] lala: yes
[09:02] rajesh: You read that mail in which I have sent conversations with God
[09:02] lala: aham
[09:02] rajesh: :>
[09:02] lala: i loved!
[09:02] rajesh: thanx
[09:02] lala: the bunner too
[09:02] rajesh: I will continue msging youif you like
[09:03] lala: i would love
[09:03] lala: ]
[09:07] rajesh: How you lost your parents, SORRY IF I AM GETTING PERSONAL
[09:08] lala: no
[09:08] lala: cancer
[09:08] lala: both
[09:09] rajesh: cANCER DUE TO ANY SPECIFIC REASON
[09:10] lala: i don't kwow speak in englhish
[09:10] lala: diferent in the both cases
[09:10] lala: my father was 'cause the cigarrete
[09:11] rajesh: yoy don't smoke na
[09:12] lala: me/
[09:12] rajesh: ya, because I came to no in west, Girls are also smoking
[09:13] lala: no
[09:13] rajesh: Thank GOG
[09:13] rajesh: GOD
[09:13] lala: yes
[09:13] lala: i don't wanna day
[09:14] rajesh: why?
[09:14] lala: die
[09:14] lala: i din't wanna die 'cause the cigarrete
[09:15] rajesh: Well u are not going to die by any such raeson
[09:15] rajesh: God can't be so cruel
[09:15] lala: YTHANKS
[09:16] lala: i've to go
[09:16] lala: i've to study now
[09:16] rajesh: Ok then
[09:16] rajesh: Good Night
[09:16] rajesh: Sweet Dreams
[09:16] lala: for u too
[09:16] lala: god blles u
[09:16] rajesh: U didn't tell me in which class u read
[09:17] lala: if i tell u in portuguse,u can translate/
[09:17] rajesh: ya
[09:17] lala: oitava série
[09:18] rajesh: in english , its class 'eight'

I feel something is there that touches my emotion or may I am the only person like that.From intermediate and above, i have seen so many of my friends who started smoking because its a fashion today.
I still remember that episode of 'school -days' a series on DD1 on sunday 12:00 clock on that days, which was based on student life. In that when a student asked to his friened who was smoking at that time, the reason for smoking, the friend replied-'CIGRATTE PIYUNGA TO LAGUNGA MAIN FINE AUR CLASS KI SABHI LADKIYAN DENGI MUJHE LINE'.(If I smoke, I will look smart and then,girls of my class will flirt with me)
From that time onwards I experienced it true at many occasions and sometimes i was thinking of should I start smoking due to that minor or major reason(that I have not started yet), but then I think can I forgive myself ever if I can produce one more 'lala'(the brazilian girl with I was chatting).
'lala', who is looking outside for emotional support and love, which she has supposed to get from her parents.
Is the previous reason suffient enough to start smoking or this reason is sufficient enough for someone to quit smoking?????????
May be one night is not sufficient to take a decision about two lifes..
Friendship

Prologue

2006-11-11T09:49:00.001-08:00

I am going to an awkward experiment, may it is due to my satisfaction but still it may worth at least for some intellectuals (however most of the intellectals will reject this idea, as it seems to be not practical).I have given it name 'My Experiments with Truth' - An auto-biography of M.K.Gandhi, as I find it to be written by a person who has a courage to to be honest while describing about himself (http://www.nalanda.nitc.ac.in/resources/english/etext-project/Biography/gandhi/).

Autobiographies are worth to read(as I feel), because it gives us an insight how to move ahead in life.
If we start writing an autobiography, how will it look like?Doesn't matter if anybody will read it or not but do we have the courage to be honest while writing without any prejudice that what people will think after reading it, that is the question?
While discussing with one of my friend, who is taking Behavioral science course in management dept., in which writing an autobiography is actually an assignment, told that if u start wriiting your autography, u can stop ur flow of emotions while describing some event, even if u know that it should not go public.

so there are two ways to get rid of it while making it public - either you edit it after writing, but then it will loose it natural flow and even you will not satisfied with it or the other way out is to a understanding with whom you are sharing it, that in prologue itself u mark that this paragraph or this page should not be read, as it is my personal and then they will not read it(If this type of understanding can be made, its even easier for the writer to be honest at most and a good literature can come out).

So, here my experiment starts, I'll write blogs under the heading 'My Experiments with Truth' like I write my diaries without any meticulus effort but with the flow of emotions and where I find it should not be read by you, I'll mark three backslaces (///) in front and last of that paragraph (and also change the color of paragraph to some faint color)and hope that you'll not read.

I don't claim that it will be some sort of autobiography but this is the most beatiful treasure I would like to see in future.i wish it may worth to read for you or else you can leave it. Taking considerations of those who have time time constraints but still inerested in reading it, I'll underline or colour important line that is the essence of whole post.

You are always welcome to criticise it or comment on it.Afterall this will make me more matured and to understand life better.

Personal
Life
Love
Poems
Family
School
Literature
Writing
wordpress
youtube